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 Miss Ben Humfrey

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Miss Ben
Newb
Newb
Miss Ben

Join date : 2014-05-14
Age : 25
Posts : 5

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PostSubject: Miss Ben Humfrey   Miss Ben Humfrey I_icon_minitimeWed May 14, 2014 8:08 pm



Character Name Miss Ben(evolence) Humfrey

Species: Human and a bit of alien but she's not quite sure what, her eyes simply glow at odd times and her hair isn't quite blond, there's a little purple in it that most people don't notice.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Occupation: Bookshop Manager
Status: A regular citizen, maybe a little on the wealthy side from her inheritance.


::Appearance::
Hair: Blond with barely a hint of violet
Eyes: A sort of iridescent green/hazel that glows at odd times (there is a purpose behind it, she just hasn't realized it just yet)
Height: About 5' 3"
Figure: Slim, not terribly muscular.
Other: Only a scar on her bum from a rather nasty fall.
Clothing: A bit of vintage, goth, and steam-punk all mixed together.

::Info::
Family: Her parents died when she was 15 and she has no siblings.
Personality: She's very shy but once she's comfortable with you she'll talk for hours. Her greatest love is books and she's known for reading as many as three in one day, which can be a problem because she'll often forget to eat when she gets into a book. When nervous, she tends to bite her lower lip and tongue alternately.
Strengths: -A quick study, able to adapt to change, Very sympathetic.
Weakness: Not a single mean bone in her body (this might be seen as a strength in some cases but when it comes to fighting back it's a bad thing to have), A sympathetic cryer (meaning she rarely cries for herself but the tears will flow for others at the drop of a hat).
Likes: Books, dogs, and Chamomile tea.
Dislikes: Endings, Large birds, and Marmite.
Dream: Owning a bookshop of her own one day.

History: Born just outside Somerset to two doting parents, she was raised with love and taught tolerance. She knew she had at least a little alien DNA in her both from her appearance and her parents had told her of some long ago ancestor who had fallen in love with an alien. When she was 15, her parents hit an icy patch on a road and slid off the side of a cliff. The doctors said they died on impact. Because of that, Ben refuses to drive in winter. A family friend took her in after that and raised her like one of his own. He passed shortly after her 23 birthday.

HOW DID YOU FIND US?: Google. Bringing fans together since...well since it started, I suppose.(isn't that place amazing?)
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10th Doctor/Eric Jason
Site Owner
Site Owner
10th Doctor/Eric Jason

Join date : 2013-04-25
Age : 32
Posts : 2036
Location : The TARDIS

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PostSubject: Re: Miss Ben Humfrey   Miss Ben Humfrey I_icon_minitimeWed May 14, 2014 8:49 pm

Not Approved

You need to first supply us with the RP Sample described in the Character Creation Template

You're history needs more detail and length. How did this alien strand come up? What is it? What does it do to differentiate those that have it and those that do not?

Who is Ben?

What happened to your character during the time that the family friend took her in?

What happened after this family friend died? You have a full three years missing from your history.

You could still provide names of her parents even though they died

What is the purpose of her eyes glowing?

- What you have submitted needs some serious detail placed into it to explain EVERYTHING. The more you have, the better chance you have at getting approved. If you check out other CC's that have been approved, maybe you can get a feel for what you have to do to get approved. -

~10th Doctor
Site Owner

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Romana II
Administrator
Administrator
Romana II

Join date : 2014-03-17
Age : 30
Posts : 186
Location : Gallifrey

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PostSubject: Re: Miss Ben Humfrey   Miss Ben Humfrey I_icon_minitimeWed May 14, 2014 8:58 pm

Hello there! A couple big things before your character is approved:

In her info section, you put sympathetic crier as a weakness. I get what you're saying, but the actual term for it is "bleeding heart." A sympathetic crier is someone who cries when another is crying, a bleeding heart is a very kind and soft-hearted person, which is what you seem to be trying to convey.

Her history: Could you make this a bit longer? What was school like for her? Friends, activities, etc. You also say she was told she was part alien. How did her parents know that? Was it some old family legend? How did they know it's even true?

Her appearance: You're saying her eyes glow and nobody ever finds this weird?

RP section: Please give us one. :)We need to know how your character is going to interact with us here. Use the prompt that was given with the template.

Happy editing!

EDIT: Oh fine 10, steal my thunder why don't you. XD
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Miss Ben
Newb
Newb
Miss Ben

Join date : 2014-05-14
Age : 25
Posts : 5

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PostSubject: Re: Miss Ben Humfrey   Miss Ben Humfrey I_icon_minitimeThu May 15, 2014 8:20 am

Character Name Miss Ben(evolence) Humfrey

Species: Human and a bit of alien but she's not quite sure what (Fwooper--of my own creation), her eyes simply glow at odd times and her hair isn't quite blond, there's a little purple in it that most people don't notice.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Occupation: Bookshop Manager
Status: A regular citizen, maybe a little on the wealthy side from her inheritance.


::Appearance::
Hair: Blond with barely a hint of violet
Eyes: A sort of iridescent green/hazel that glows at odd times (there is a purpose behind it, she just hasn't realized it just yet)
Height: About 5' 3"
Figure: Slim, not terribly muscular.
Other: Only a scar on her bum from a rather nasty fall.
Clothing: A bit of vintage, goth, and steam-punk all mixed together.

::Info::
Family: Her parents, Lisa and James, died when she was 15 and she has no siblings.
Personality: She's very shy but once she's comfortable with you she'll talk for hours. Her greatest love is books and she's known for reading as many as three in one day, which can be a problem because she'll often forget to eat when she gets into a book. When nervous, she tends to bite her lower lip and tongue alternately.
Strengths: -A quick study, able to adapt to change, Very sympathetic.
Weakness: Not a single mean bone in her body (this might be seen as a strength in some cases but when it comes to fighting back it's a bad thing to have), A bleeding heart (meaning she rarely cries for herself but the tears will flow for others at the drop of a hat).
Likes: Books, dogs, and Chamomile tea.
Dislikes: Endings, Large birds, and Marmite.
Dream: Owning a bookshop of her own one day.

History: Born just outside Somerset to two doting parents, she was raised with love and taught tolerance. She knew she had at least a little alien DNA in her both from her appearance and her parents had told her of some long ago ancestor who had fallen in love with an alien. As a child she thought it was just a ridiculous bedtime story that her mother liked to tell until she realized her appearance wasn't normal. Her mother possessed pink tinted hair and similarly glowing eyes and photos of her maternal grandmother showed yellow tinted hair and glowing eyes--the tint was a bit more noticeable in her grandmother. During school she was looked at with either awe or teased mercilessly about her eyes, but no one really wanted to be her friend--she was too weird. That was okay, she found solace in books and made it through with only a few emotional scars--she's afraid people will reject her still. When she was 15, her parents hit an icy patch on a road and slid off the side of a cliff. The doctors said they died on impact. Because of that, Ben refuses to drive in winter. A family friend, a man almost like an uncle, took her in after that and raised her like one of his own. He passed shortly after her 23 birthday. The first year alone was hard for her, with absolutely no family--even surrogate ones--to celebrate holidays with she descended into a depression. It took an old classmate with a job offer, months of therapy, and dozens of books before she was finally lifted, though she still experiences rare bouts of sadness every now and then.

RP sample: Where did it go? Ben thought in exasperation. I just had it not five minutes ago and now it's nowhere to be seen! For God's sake I'm not that air-headed that I misplace a silly book after looking away for five minutes. Her lip was getting swollen from all the biting she was doing and there were pillows, couch cushions and blankets strewn about the room. She'd only gotten up to check her pizza that was in the oven because her timer broke and she had to keep a close watch on the clock so it didn't burn. No need to add another to the pile. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Really, Ben, where could it possibly be? She dropped into her comfy reading chair and went to put her face in her hands when her forehead touched something cool and distinctly paper.
She began laughing, "Of course, of course it was in my hand the entire time. I'm an idiot. A complete, sodding idiot and--" the pizza was burning. Because she'd spent the last ten minutes since she checked on it searching for her book. She moaned, "Bugger it all," and she threw the book across the room where it hit the wall and flopped to the floor. "Today, just isn't my day," she muttered as she rose to remove the burning pizza from her oven. That was the third today. Maybe she just shouldn't make pizza for a while. Or she could get a new timer. The timer required she actually had to leave the house and she didn't feel like doing that anytime soon. So no pizza it was.

HOW DID YOU FIND US?: Google. Bringing fans together since...well since it started, I suppose.(isn't that place amazing?)
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Lucius Tyler Vulneras
Time Lord
Time Lord
Lucius Tyler Vulneras

Join date : 2013-05-16
Age : 24
Posts : 1230
Location : Earth

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PostSubject: Re: Miss Ben Humfrey   Miss Ben Humfrey I_icon_minitimeThu May 15, 2014 9:09 am

Note:

I will look at this character for approval once your alien race has been accepted.

Good luck!

-Mal of the Managerial Staff-

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PostSubject: Re: Miss Ben Humfrey   Miss Ben Humfrey I_icon_minitime

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