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 Samlagton (finished)

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Samlagton King Of Kaldra
Newb
Newb


Join date : 2014-08-29
Age : 17
Posts : 11
Location : Kaldra

Samlagton (finished) Empty
PostSubject: Samlagton (finished)   Samlagton (finished) I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 29, 2014 2:58 pm

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Character Name:Samlagton

Species: The Malaagans
Age:89 (normal age for Malaagans)
Gender:Male
Occupation:King (president/leader)
Status: Royal


::Appearance::
Hair:None
Eyes:Black
Height:(in cm? if so: ) 170cm
Figure: Human (slim)
Other:No
Clothing: Forcefield armour

::Info::
Family: Cloned from the planet Kaldra
Personality: Evil Tyrant Powermad
Strengths: Meele Tatctis Ragned
Weakness: Ice/Cold
Likes: Food (Energy) Humans
Dislikes: Timelords Daleks all living things (besides humans)
Dream: I want to be god (not litteraly)

History: The Year was 1994 the planet Kaldras core was extracted and turend into a creature this creature is Samlagton

HOW DID YOU FIND US?: Google (searched for Drwho roleplay)
---------------------------------------------------
Better? Of course not





SAMPLE:Samlagton was walking down the stretts of Kaldra on the hot planet of Kaldra as he walked down a drip of lava landed on his forcefield and refelected over to a guard sitting next to a child playing rock paper scissor (or in malaagansee "Kald milt karka") they sat there so peacefully but that didnt end good the guard ran away beacuse of the lava Samlagton blinked and he was gone (do i need the backpack thing if not: ) as Samlagton contined the road a dalek appeard Samlagton punshed the dalek thought the wall of the inner circle wall and the dalek "died"


The End


Last edited by Samlagton King Of Kaldra on Fri Aug 29, 2014 3:27 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Audrey/Amy Pond
Student
Student
Audrey/Amy Pond

Join date : 2014-01-23
Age : 19
Posts : 221
Location : Looking for the Doctor, be back in the future

Samlagton (finished) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Samlagton (finished)   Samlagton (finished) I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 29, 2014 3:19 pm

If you can, you should refer back to the character template. You can see from that template that a sample roleplay is required.
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http://www.dwrpplay.forumotion.com
Samlagton King Of Kaldra
Newb
Newb


Join date : 2014-08-29
Age : 17
Posts : 11
Location : Kaldra

Samlagton (finished) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Samlagton (finished)   Samlagton (finished) I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 29, 2014 3:21 pm

what?!?! please explain in better detail
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Samlagton King Of Kaldra
Newb
Newb


Join date : 2014-08-29
Age : 17
Posts : 11
Location : Kaldra

Samlagton (finished) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Samlagton (finished)   Samlagton (finished) I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 29, 2014 3:22 pm

oh hell i got it
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Brooke/Charity
Moderator
Moderator
Brooke/Charity

Join date : 2014-04-28
Age : 28
Posts : 725
Location : In the Tardis! | Brooke: In the Tardis Library, of course.

Samlagton (finished) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Samlagton (finished)   Samlagton (finished) I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 29, 2014 3:24 pm

here:
---------------------------------------------------

This section is for you to show us your roleplaying skills. What is going to happen is you will read a standard problem for your character to react with. What we are looking for is a proper Roleplay reply, standard character, explaining what you would do in the situation.


  • Rules: Please make your response at least a six to nine sentance paragraph.
    Please make your responses in 3rd person (ex: Sonya blinks her eyes.)
    You need to explain your roleplay, use as many details as you possibly can to describe what you are doing and what is going on around you.



The Doctor is stuck under a flickering streetlamp, you are on the opposite side of the street. It's midnight, no moon or stars, the only lights around are the lamp the Doctor is under, and the light in front of a closed store you stand under.

The only way to the Doctor is to cross the dark street, easy, right? Wrong. This planet is well-known for being infested with Vashta Nerada. Any shadow anywhere could be infested with them. You have a small pack on your back with several items in it that you could use to get to him.


  • A carrot
    The Doctor's Sonic screwdriver
    A chicken leg
    A flashlight
    Book of matches
    A rubber duck
    a raincoat

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Samlagton King Of Kaldra
Newb
Newb


Join date : 2014-08-29
Age : 17
Posts : 11
Location : Kaldra

Samlagton (finished) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Samlagton (finished)   Samlagton (finished) I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 29, 2014 3:27 pm

Better?
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Audrey/Amy Pond
Student
Student
Audrey/Amy Pond

Join date : 2014-01-23
Age : 19
Posts : 221
Location : Looking for the Doctor, be back in the future

Samlagton (finished) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Samlagton (finished)   Samlagton (finished) I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 29, 2014 3:30 pm

I'm not an administrator, so I cannot tell you exactly what you need to do. That's not my job. But I can tell you that this needs more work before an admin or mod will accept.
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Brooke/Charity
Moderator
Moderator
Brooke/Charity

Join date : 2014-04-28
Age : 28
Posts : 725
Location : In the Tardis! | Brooke: In the Tardis Library, of course.

Samlagton (finished) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Samlagton (finished)   Samlagton (finished) I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 29, 2014 3:42 pm

I'm not a mod, but like Dakota said, you have many things to fix before an admin will approve this. First, Personality needs to be at least a paragraph long. That means about six to nine sentences. 
Strengths and weaknesses: please explain these better.
On History, you have only one sentence. This is supposed to be very detailed, and for someone who is a king, you need to have a lot of history. Childhood up through to his becoming king, and on up to where he is now.
You also didn't follow the RP sample prompt. 
You'll need to fix all that stuff before anyone will approve it.
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Brax
Administrator
Administrator
Brax

Join date : 2013-11-15
Age : 20
Posts : 884
Location : Traveling the universe.

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PostSubject: Re: Samlagton (finished)   Samlagton (finished) I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 29, 2014 3:59 pm

Still, there is a very much lack of detail. How do they even know who the time lords are? Please use commas to separate your likes/dislikes, just so it makes things easier to read. Your character's history? What are we supposed to learn from this? You have a Original race, implement that into your character's history, please expand on this because players on this site have no information on your character what so ever. How did this man become king in the first place?

Again, in the site rules it states that the paragraph must be from 6-9 sentences long and use the provided roleplaying sample.

I cannot approve this until you edit it because if I'm being honest, it's pretty lacking and doesn't give us a sense of who is your character. Think of it this way: You have the barebones of your skeleton and every time you add towards the information, you are slowly making a better human, a more layered character to play with, if you expand and describe in more detail, you'll have the whole human laughing, talking and whatnot. Also, please check your spelling, I know it's a small trivial matter but will help you in the long run.

I know it sounds like a lot to edit but so far, you've got the atoms of the person and I'm sure if you work at it, you'll be on your way to roleplaying shortly. ^^

_________________
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"Look forwards into life, not backwards...otherwise you may find your face planted into the back of a lamp-post." -Flannagan
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Romana II
Administrator
Administrator
Romana II

Join date : 2014-03-17
Age : 30
Posts : 186
Location : Gallifrey

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PostSubject: Re: Samlagton (finished)   Samlagton (finished) I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 29, 2014 4:04 pm

Hello Samalgan, I'm sorry to tell you, but you have quite a bit of work to do on this application.

Your personality, history, etc. all need to be expanded on. We know nothing about this character. Give us more.

Also I'm not sure why you're trying to tell me his weaknesses are? I think you either misspelled some things there or I'm having a really bad dyslexic day.

You did not follow the prompted rp directions. Please do that.

And lastly, since this is a non-canon alien race, you need to first apply for the alien race to be approved before you can make a character as a member of that species. You can find the template for that application [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Let's approve your race of aliens first, then we can work on your character, ok?

- Romana of the Administrative Staff
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Samlagton (finished) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Samlagton (finished)   Samlagton (finished) I_icon_minitime

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