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 Cassity Liftfollow.

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Night Pyre
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Join date : 2014-12-16
Posts : 205
Location : The Starship Enterprise

PostSubject: Cassity Liftfollow.   Thu Mar 26, 2015 6:04 pm

Species: Human
Age:25
Gender:Girl
Occupation:Writer
Status: Wealthy

::Appearance::
Hair: Dark Brown
Eyes:Bright Green
Height:6'3
Figure: Model's body
Other: She has a tattoo of the word "Blink" on her back
Clothing: Like any other person who wears Ralph Lauren only. Very. Very fancily.

::Info::
Family: A Mother, A Father and A Sister
Personality: Cassity lives the dream. She has a cozy cabin at Fawkin Willow hill, and it is always warm there. She grew up in the woods, and has a thing with animals. Her favorite color is green, and she likes soft things. She is very peppy, like a cheerleader and wears cute blue glasses. She is very introverted.
Strengths: Smart, charming, kind and giving
Weakness: Feeble, weak and abused
Likes: Fluffy things, cherries and soda.
Dislikes: spiders, slobs and guns
Dream: that her books will become big

History: She grew up in the woods, and has always had a knack for animals. She was homeschooled, so she doesn't have a way with people. Her parents were very kind to her, and her younger sister made her tough. Once and a while, she would come across a person who would hurt her sister, but adults would have to pry Cassity off the bully, so that she doesn't kill them. She gets these bursts of energy for unknown reasons. Because usually she is very feeble and weak. She loves to write. She usually writes sci-fi or horror, but she is loosing inspiration. She has tried to commit suicide twice, once because she was being abused and bullied by older people, and the other because her older brother died. Her older brother died when she was trying to defend Cassity from a bear when she was 12, but her brother, Noel was ripped apart, as Cassity watched it all happen. She is on a trip to new york to find new inspiration for her stories.

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This section is for you to show us your roleplaying skills. What is going to happen is you will read a standard problem for your character to react with. What we are looking for is a proper Roleplay reply, standard character, explaining what you would do in the situation.

Rules: Please make your response at least a six to nine sentance paragraph.
Please make your responses in 3rd person (ex: Sonya blinks her eyes.)
You need to explain your roleplay, use as many details as you possibly can to describe what you are doing and what is going on around you.



The Doctor is stuck under a flickering streetlamp, you are on the opposite side of the street. It's midnight, no moon or stars, the only lights around are the lamp the Doctor is under, and the light in front of a closed store you stand under.

The only way to the Doctor is to cross the dark street, easy, right? Wrong. This planet is well-known for being infested with Vashta Nerada. Any shadow anywhere could be infested with them. You have a small pack on your back with several items in it that you could use to get to him.

A carrot
The Doctor's Sonic screwdriver
A chicken leg
A flashlight
Book of matches
A rubber duck
a raincoat

Cassity twirled her hair around with her finger. She rubbed her neck, and picked up the pack. It was rather dusty, having multiple small scratched on the zipper. With some trouble, she unzipped the back, and took out a flashlight. She sat the flashlight on the ground, it being turned on, and looked at the area around her. It was pure hell. A building smashed to the ground as the foundation cracked. Cars were flipped over, and the murky, black sky was filled with pure fear and dark souls. Cassity gave a shudder as the wind tickled her arm. Turned back to the pack, she took out a long device. The Doctor had previously called it a "Sonic Screwdriver", but it looked nothing of the sort. She stuck it back into her pocket. It seemed quite important. Taking the flashlight, she shined it on the black ground, the Vashta Nerada seeming to go away. Cassity finally thought she was safe, until she tripped. It seemed so long, the flash light rolled out of her reach, as she floated in the air, the ground coming towards her. She quickly took out a match, and lit it, giving her another chance at life. Her green eyes pulsed as she made her way back to the Doctor, turning her back on him as she muttered a quiet introduction. "You're Welcome."
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Brax
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Join date : 2013-11-15
Age : 18
Posts : 882
Location : Traveling the universe.

PostSubject: Re: Cassity Liftfollow.   Mon Mar 30, 2015 3:11 pm

Hi Demon,

I'm reviewing your app today and I have picked up on a couple of inconsistencies in it.

Firstly, your character is a wealthy individual yet authors take a long time to get famous, so I doubt she would have gotten enough money if she is from the background she is from. I know authors, once they get off the ground, are rich but it takes a long time to become noticed.

If she has a model's body, why does she not involve herself in a career of modeling. You also mentioned that she has a tattoo but in the history mention nothing about it.

Quote :
Cassity lives the dream. She has a cozy cabin at Fawkin Willow hill, and it is always warm there. She grew up in the woods, and has a thing with animals. Her favorite color is green, and she likes soft things. She is very peppy, like a cheerleader and wears cute blue glasses. She is very introverted.

The first thing that springs to mind when reading this particular paragraph is the fact that the first sentence does not relate to personality and mentioning her favorite colour does not flesh out the character sufficiently. How is she introverted?

Quote :
She grew up in the woods, and has always had a knack for animals. She was homeschooled, so she doesn't have a way with people. Her parents were very kind to her, and her younger sister made her tough.

You don't really have many people in the woods so I doubt that due to the fact that she was home-schooled would have any affect. How were her parents kind? How did her sister make her tough, in which case would not make sense with her weakness of being "Weak"

Overall, I think that the whole history could be explained better.

Quote :
She gets these bursts of energy for unknown reasons.

It seems out of place, if you're aiming for an alien-based creature, mention it, create an alien species because this would then make more sense. We need to know about these things.

Quote :
She has tried to commit suicide twice, once because she was being abused and bullied by older people, and the other because her older brother died. Her older brother died when she was trying to defend Cassity from a bear when she was 12, but her brother, Noel was ripped apart, as Cassity watched it all happen. She is on a trip to new york to find new inspiration for her stories.

If she has tried to commit suicide and ended up in hospital because of it, she would most likely end up having to seek out help. Why was she bullied and abused? This also seems like it needs far more detail. I understand having her brother killed because of a bear but did the bear have a reason to kill him? Usually bears don't attack until provoked.

The last bit of her history is rather sudden, perhaps use a sentence starter of sorts?

Quote :
It seemed so long, the flash light rolled out of her reach...

The Vashta Nerada would have attacked almost immediately. Also, at the very end, the speech is unclear to whom it is coming from. If its from the Doctor, that would be counted as god-modding.

I'm sorry this is so long but as soon as you've made those edits, let me know Smile

-Richard.

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