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 Luis Moore

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The Hermit
Student
Student
The Hermit

Join date : 2014-01-02
Posts : 162
Location : Somewhere across the galaxy...

Luis Moore Empty
PostSubject: Luis Moore   Luis Moore I_icon_minitimeTue Apr 15, 2014 8:41 pm

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Character Name HERE

Species: Human
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Occupation: Extra-terrestrial Detective
Status: Normal

::Appearance::
Hair: Light brown, spiky and pointing up.
Eyes: Hazel
Height: 5'11
Figure: Average, not to skinny not too bulky
Other: none
Clothing: Like any other average boy, t-shirts, jeans, stuff like that. Sometimes wears glasses.

::Info::
Family:
Mom: Samantha Moore
Dad: Joshua Moore
Personality: Luis (pronounced, Loo-Weese) is a charismatic and lovable person. Although his laid-backness can sometimes be annoying, he tries to always be serious with the case at hand. He is very laid-back, although he always manages to get the task at hand done. He is also very athletic, seeming to know about every sport. He is very knowlegable of video-games, always bringing his PS Vita to work, and having a mini tv with an Xbox set up at his desk.
Strengths: Ability to solve cases, athletics, his knowledge of video-games.
Weakness: Laid-backness, sometimes he gets annoying, not...well...AS smart as others.
Likes: Video games, sports, aliens, mystery, food, food, food, food-what was I saying?
Dislikes: Evil aliens, robberies (He says that they are obsolete to most of the cases he's solved), being bored
Dream: Why, Mystery of course! He loves Mystery.

History: Having a normal life, he grew up in London. He lived with his mother and father (Yes they are still alive) in a happy home where they spent most of their lives.

Luis started to do sports at a very young age, showing potential in about every sport one could think of. His sport routine would be:
1. Learn about a sport
2. Become obsessed with the sport
3. Become superior to the sport
4. Get bored of the sport
5. Repeat cycle, replacing sports with video games, then back to sports again

This triggered his athletic aspect, and his knowledge of video games.

One fateful day, well not that fateful, he'd been about 9. Aliens, of an unknown species, had attacked not only his house, but his whole town. The Doctor, in his 11th incarnation, had saved the town. This was when he first learned about aliens being real.


Last edited by 8th Doctor/Luis Moore on Fri Aug 29, 2014 8:15 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Robin
Administrator
Administrator
Robin

Join date : 2013-04-28
Age : 20
Posts : 1775
Location : Not the zoo, that's for sure.

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PostSubject: Re: Luis Moore   Luis Moore I_icon_minitimeTue Apr 15, 2014 8:47 pm

Alright a few things - 

1, the faceclaim is taken, like I just told you.

2, Your history is terribly lacking. You skipped tons of parts. When did he learn sports? When did he take such an interest in video games? How did he even know about that association? And, you know, whatever else you can think of, add it.

3, You probably have to ask Coco to join that, but that shouldn't be a big deal. Just PM him.

4, This character is a bit Gary-sue. He's good at sports AND video games AND he's intelligent. That's like all ends of the spectrum. His only "weakness" isn't even really a good weakness. Just... tidy that up a bit...

So there you are.

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The Hermit
Student
Student
The Hermit

Join date : 2014-01-02
Posts : 162
Location : Somewhere across the galaxy...

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PostSubject: Re: Luis Moore   Luis Moore I_icon_minitimeTue Apr 15, 2014 9:01 pm

I can change the pic, and I asked Coco.
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Robin
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Administrator
Robin

Join date : 2013-04-28
Age : 20
Posts : 1775
Location : Not the zoo, that's for sure.

Luis Moore Empty
PostSubject: Re: Luis Moore   Luis Moore I_icon_minitimeWed Apr 16, 2014 5:57 am

Alright, well I'm not sure about the picture. It IS taken, but by someone who never comes on or RPs when she does. So I'm relatively sure you could have it, but let me ask first.

Secondly... I'm sorry but I'm going to have to push you to be a LITTLE less Gary-sue, again. Not a huge deal, honestly. It's just that your character seems to be brilliant at video games AND sports, and you've only lowered his IQ a tad bit, from what I'm reading. Maybe make it so he can have a balance of all three, but is only superb in one aspect of it? Perhaps - if you still want to go with the dumbing down thing - he dropped out of high school because of the time he spent playing sports and perfecting his skills, and ended up playing video games when he got bored instead of studying? This, to me anyway, seems more realistic for a person to balance with their life.

Thirdly - and lastly - I'm going to assume you're not lying and that you asked Coco. But you've still got to include a bit more about the agency. How did you find it? How'd you get recruited? Why bother joining at all? Just little things to explain it better.

Fix that up and I'll take a look at it.

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Master
Whovian
Whovian
Master

Join date : 2013-07-10
Age : 21
Posts : 356
Location : England

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PostSubject: Re: Luis Moore   Luis Moore I_icon_minitimeWed Apr 16, 2014 10:24 am

Yeah, I can confirm he did ask me, and we're planning on showing how he joined in an rp at some point.

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The Master:
'He enjoyed being afraid of the dark a little too much and it swallowed him' - The 2nd Doctor
'The Time Lord's most infamous child' - Rassilon

Nate:
'His methods aren't the most orthodox but he gets results' - Sophie Smith
'You do know your cat probably has more sanity than you do' - Robin Terrell
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Robin
Administrator
Administrator
Robin

Join date : 2013-04-28
Age : 20
Posts : 1775
Location : Not the zoo, that's for sure.

Luis Moore Empty
PostSubject: Re: Luis Moore   Luis Moore I_icon_minitimeWed Apr 16, 2014 2:37 pm

Alrighty. Well I asked David and he said the picture is fine, so now that you've got that sorted, you only need to worry about the 'second' thing. Let us know when you get that fixed and you should be good~

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Robin
Administrator
Administrator
Robin

Join date : 2013-04-28
Age : 20
Posts : 1775
Location : Not the zoo, that's for sure.

Luis Moore Empty
PostSubject: Re: Luis Moore   Luis Moore I_icon_minitimeThu Apr 17, 2014 4:35 pm

Okie doke, approved ^^

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PostSubject: Re: Luis Moore   Luis Moore I_icon_minitime

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