Join date : 2014-01-25
Age : 21
Posts : 2
|Subject: Inferno Flames Sat Apr 19, 2014 10:23 pm|| |
Character Name: Inferno Flames
Age: Good question XD
Occupation: His Occupation is killing and stuff
Status: Inferno is infamous but well known if you know where to look.
Height: It depends on how much you anger him.
Figure: Inferno at times looks like a Normal Human, but if you anger him, tease him, or even make him feel uneasy, he will become anything that is covered with a kind of fire that at times can get deadly even to water.
Other: No tatoos or scars.
Clothing: An ordinary brown hoody with khaki pants.
Family: All dead.
Personality: 1 paragraph or more
Strengths: Fire, light, darkness, hatred
Weakness: Love (i will think of something else later.)
Likes: Chaos, impossible things
Dislikes: Braggy people, things that are complicated
Dream: Nothing keeps him going, he just does it.
History: Inferno's history is quite scrambled, it is gonna be very hard to explain so for now allow me to be simple, basically he fell into a cave opening to where death usually lives and basically he got mutated and came out all fiery and deadly.
HOW DID YOU FIND US?: Explain how you came across our website.
|Lucius Tyler Vulneras|
Join date : 2013-05-16
Age : 24
Posts : 1230
Location : Earth
|Subject: Re: Inferno Flames Sat Apr 19, 2014 10:34 pm|| |
Let me critique this application based on the section.
For general information, you need to name your species something else. I don't think demons necessarily exist in the Whoniverse considering Hell isn't a canon place to go to. For age, you should at least put an approximation. How old would you guess he is? For occupation, do you perhaps mean assassin? Or mercenary? Killing isn't an occupation, it's an action.
In the appearance section, I'm not too sure what you mean. Is his whole head a fireball? What does his body actually look like? Are you suggesting he can grow when angered? And become engulfed in flames when he's angered? For the hair and eyes, I'd advise being a bit more specific. How would his eyes be fire? Unless, of course, you meant the colour of flames. I'd also have to say if your character, who was a being of fire, was unaffected by water that is slightly unfair. Water quenches flames, that is how science works.
In the info section, you forgot your character's personality. We need to know how he acts and feels and the whole works. Please provide us at least a paragraph of his personality.
Your history is lacking greatly. I'm not sure if you plan on editing into this... because you're going to have to if you want your character to be accepted.
Please also fill out the RP sample you've completely bypassed so we can assess your RP style. All new members are required to take this step.
If you need any help, once again, don't be afraid to ask.
-Mal of the Managerial Staff-
Join date : 2013-04-28
Age : 20
Posts : 1775
Location : Not the zoo, that's for sure.
|Subject: Re: Inferno Flames Sat Apr 19, 2014 11:02 pm|| |
I'm like 99% sure this is a WIP, but just because I thought it should be pointed out:
This sounds like an anime character to me, and we're skeptical about approving those.
Also you don't have a picture, because if your avatar is the picture, you're missing a LOT of description.
ALSO, you're basically indicating that it doesn't matter how angry you get him, he turns into fire. Just pure fire. You could poke him and he'd combust - that is what you are saying. This isn't logical. He'd always be on fire, really. The whole point of a story is conflict. Consider revising that?
-Nat of the Administrative Staff-
Join date : 2013-04-25
Age : 28
Posts : 2830
Location : Anywhere, Doing whatever.
|Subject: Re: Inferno Flames Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:19 pm|| |
And the whole Demon bit about his character needs to be changed. Doctor Who doesn't really talk about demons. Perhaps change him to an alien? If you want to make one up for your character, you'll need to submit an Alien creation first and see if it gets approved.
Other than that, you really need to add more detail into this. When I read through it, I get at most, a vague impression of who he is. We want to know what makes him tick, we need to get a feeling that he's a person, going through different things, we need to get more than just 'oh hey, he's got this, or he looks like that.'
Give us a bit more to work off of. One thing I look for most in a character creation is the stamp of emotion I get from reading about them, make me feel like they're someone I know or someone I met once upon a time. In other words, make him real to us, make us see how he takes form in your mind.
|10th Doctor/Eric Jason|
Join date : 2013-04-25
Age : 32
Posts : 2036
Location : The TARDIS
|Subject: Re: Inferno Flames Mon Apr 21, 2014 5:15 pm|| |
Please provide more detail and fill out the ENTIRE CC template we have provided for you.
Giving as much detail as possible not only helps us but also the members that chose to come here and look at your character to help them imagine him/her in an RP.
I believe my fellow SO, Admin and Moderator have explained the bits you need to alter if you'd like for this character to be approved. So i see no need in repeating it. Just be sure to give as much detail as imaginatively possible.
|Subject: Re: Inferno Flames || |