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Robin
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Administrator
Robin

Join date : 2013-04-28
Age : 20
Posts : 1775
Location : Not the zoo, that's for sure.

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PostSubject: ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps))   ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps)) I_icon_minitimeThu Apr 24, 2014 7:55 pm

::IMAGE HERE::

Kiera

Species: Super human
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Occupation: Superhero

Status: super hero


::Appearance::
Hair: bright pink
Eyes: purple and green
Height: tall

Figure: skinny
Other: no
Clothing: cute

::Info::
Family: dead
Personality: she's smart and nice and funny and bossy 
Strengths: she's smart and nice and funny
Weakness: she's bossy and sucks at painting her nails
Likes: cute boys, saving the day, admiration
Dislikes: ugly guys, stupid people, villains
Dream: to defeat all the bad guys

History: her dad experimented on her and now she can fly and use lasers and electicity

HOW DID YOU FIND US?: gooogle

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Last edited by Nel Brymer on Fri Apr 25, 2014 9:33 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Romana II
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Administrator
Romana II

Join date : 2014-03-17
Age : 30
Posts : 186
Location : Gallifrey

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PostSubject: Re: ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps))   ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps)) I_icon_minitimeFri Apr 25, 2014 8:41 pm

Hello! Again, you need to use the proper template, provided conveniently for you [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

That being said, there are several huge things wrong with your application, not the least of which being that you have left out a LOT of information we need. Please follow the application and remember to use as much detail as possible.

At the time, we are not accepting OC Time Lords. I'm sorry, but Kiera cannot be a Time Lord.

You've also made her into a Mary Sue. Be sure to watch out for that when you're editing. She can't have impossible powers, like making anyone do anything she wants. Not even the Master can do that.

Happy editing!
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Robin
Administrator
Administrator
Robin

Join date : 2013-04-28
Age : 20
Posts : 1775
Location : Not the zoo, that's for sure.

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PostSubject: Re: ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps))   ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps)) I_icon_minitimeFri Apr 25, 2014 8:50 pm

I edited

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Romana II
Administrator
Administrator
Romana II

Join date : 2014-03-17
Age : 30
Posts : 186
Location : Gallifrey

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PostSubject: Re: ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps))   ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps)) I_icon_minitimeFri Apr 25, 2014 9:30 pm

Barely. Please reread what I said carefully and make the necessary corrections.
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Robin
Administrator
Administrator
Robin

Join date : 2013-04-28
Age : 20
Posts : 1775
Location : Not the zoo, that's for sure.

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PostSubject: Re: ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps))   ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps)) I_icon_minitimeFri Apr 25, 2014 9:34 pm

I did it again

((You're doing good, but when a person gets like this, start posing some questions to push them to add more. Instead of asking for more detail, give some examples of how to add it))

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Romana II
Administrator
Administrator
Romana II

Join date : 2014-03-17
Age : 30
Posts : 186
Location : Gallifrey

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PostSubject: Re: ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps))   ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps)) I_icon_minitimeSat Apr 26, 2014 8:20 pm

((gotcha))

Again, you need to provide much more detail than this. Especially in her history section. For instance: How and why did her family die? Where was she born, what happened to her growing up?

Another area in major need of improving would be her strengths and weaknesses. The inability to paint one's nails isn't really a weakness. Perhaps she's hotheaded? You've also just copied her personality minus the bossy for her strengths. Please find some strengths that aren't connected with her personality.

Also as far as I know, humans (super or otherwise) don't naturally have bright pink hair and green and purple eyes. As far as flying, lasers, and electricity goes: there needs to be a solid scientific explanation for why she can do this in order for me to accept it.
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Robin
Administrator
Administrator
Robin

Join date : 2013-04-28
Age : 20
Posts : 1775
Location : Not the zoo, that's for sure.

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PostSubject: Re: ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps))   ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps)) I_icon_minitimeSat Apr 26, 2014 11:19 pm

Ugh.

I love you this is my character. Take it or leave it. This is how I want to roleplay here

I don't think your superiors are gonna like you losing a member ((Btw, most instances, we WANT this person to leave >.>))

What's wrong with her hair and eyes, huh? Hair dye exists and her eyes are just that way she's not even human duh

this is exactly how i want it and i dont want to spoil anything else

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Romana II
Administrator
Administrator
Romana II

Join date : 2014-03-17
Age : 30
Posts : 186
Location : Gallifrey

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PostSubject: Re: ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps))   ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps)) I_icon_minitimeSun Apr 27, 2014 9:35 pm

Oh I love you too. <3

Unfortunately for you, my superiors have placed me where I am for a reason. These are not my personal rules and requirements that I'm asking you to abide by, but the site rules and requirements that we must all conform to.

But as you've clearly stated and shown that you have no intention of following our rules and guidelines, your application is denied. I do hope you find another site to play on where you can build the skills necessary to be a successful rp-er.

Until that time comes, I bid you adieu. Have a lovely life! <3
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PostSubject: Re: ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps))   ((PRACTICE FOR ROMI PART TWO-oh caps)) I_icon_minitime

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