Icecream Heals Everything

She was still, listening, closely observing the way his eyes never left her own. How gently he reached out, brushing a loose strand of hair off freckled skin to tuck behind an ear. It was strange, how many tender moments she could recall with this man, and how they fell so naturally back into old patterns. So, she stayed planted against the carpet, hand still holding onto his coat sleeve. Toni listened when he spoke of his beautiful box, and emotional attachments, and watched when he seemed to have been swept away by his own thoughts.

There one minute, gone the next. The idea of the Doctor spiraling over some stray sentence bouncing off the walls of his consciousness made her almost smile, nose scrunched slightly up as she took notice of how, although he seemed to be two places at once, his eyes never left hers. Those brown eyes, so young and old, so brave and tired. Every emotion she thought she placed was immediately contradicted, and, for a moment, it made her think of London. In the heart of the pulsing city, where she lived in a flat with her mother and younger brother. Where, one second, everything had been strictly pleasant. And the next, nothing made sense and not a single thing wasn't flipped on it's head. There was no part of her that denied the complications of a past, whether it was hers or the Doctor's, but it was uneasy seeing it so recognizable in someone else. No... No, not uneasy. Sure, it was a lot of things, much like contradictions usually were, but this was only dipped in the uncertainty of unease because it felt so relaxing. A mystery, perhaps, of sorts. A tidal wave of emotional depth that she longed to understand, but never stepped into in mute concern the Time Lord would disappear again.

With someone like him, he was never going to be a stable fixture in her life. Sadly, she knew this, and loathed the idea of it. So when he was suddenly giving permission to maybe itch at the mysterious build up of that tidal wave, all she could do was pull him closer by his arm. With that leverage, Toni tugged their bodies flush against one another before slipping her hand up his arm to his shoulder, then wrapping her own arm behind his shoulders as she lifted into a hug. A tight hug, not fleeting like the one outside had been. She ducked her head down as her other arm lifted as well, completely the hug as she tucked her face into the crook of his neck.

"Well," she breathed out, still holding onto him and the hug, "as tempting as it is to interview you, bombard you with questions like the spy I am, I just want you to stop bloody thinking so hard. Whatever it is you're obsessing over in that thick skull of yours, quit it or spit it out, yeah? You don't have to spiral on your own in there."

At first The Doctor was surprised by the hug, taking a step back as he fought to keep his balance. His arms stretching out, hovering over her waist until he regained his balance. Once the balance was secured, a grin flashed across his face as he hugged her back, picking her up lightly to spin her around. A laugh escaped his mouth, "Ha!" as he relished in the hug; he loved hugs, he would hug everyone he saw if the human police promised not to arrest him for disturbing the peace. Hugging reminded him of all the friends that traveled with him, helping him throughout the years especially emotionally.

The Doctor listened to Toni, as she answered his open challenge to question him and issued a challenged to him in return. He took a moment to ponder a response, there was so much that he would like to tell her but he couldn't find the words; or knew the words but didn't want to tell her. The moments within this room were growing, growing in special emotional moments and The Doctor didn't want them to end; he had to choose what thought he wanted to release. "I want you, to spend as much time as you want with me" The Doctor finally started, wiggling his face free to speak out from her arm, "Until i get old and boring of course. Whether that be two days, two weeks, two years, whatever. I've got plenty of time to spare..and besides it's not like i can't pop you back one minute after we left or anything. Life is fleeting Toni, it's there and gone in an instant..but it's your life and i want you to choose what you do with it, not me. Sometimes i wish i could have a mortgage on a house and a fun job..probably with kids..fence, yard, all that jazz. Then i think..maybe i'd be too restless, don't know, hard to think about..well..not hard but more so hard to imagine. Mostly because my people and home are trapped, not that..not that there aren't plenty of good human's, people i mean that would be fantastic to share that with, lots. By lots i mean a few, by a few i mean a couple..i don't exactly live as long as you do, that's the torture of it, i want to spend more time with..you know..certain people, but i can't stand to watch them whither away as i have to walk away. Bit sad".

Stopping, The Doctor realized he was rambling and revealing more than he had planned. Did it let too much slip out? Not enough? Better to stop than to start something with not shutting his gob, The Doctor concluded. "Sorry..i'm rambling" He apologized, "Pinch me if i start doing that" he returned to enjoying the hug. The length of the hug didn't bother him, his rambling keeping him more distracted than anything; he decided he would let Toni decide when she wanted to stop hugging him. He glanced over to the door, making sure Will wouldn't be standing there watching; it seemed like something he would do. Relief filled The Doctor to see nobody there, the silence slowly starting to worry him if he had said too much as he waited for her reply, if she even had one. I've got to stop rambling one of these days...nah..to much fun

More information had been blasted haphazardly into the warm air between them in the moments they hugged than, really, ever before. The Doctor shared, probably too much, but he still held on - his arms firmly wrapped around Toni. She felt his warmth merge with the comforting air, as if stitching together to form some type of heated blanket. There was a lot to unpack with each word that left the Doctor's tongue, but she was more focused on the press of her forehead against the crook of his neck - brief images flashing behind closed eyelids at the nearly description-barren idea of a real life. A fenced yard, an actual house. Bills to pay, which Toni was only now getting familiar with. She had never been very familiar with that type of life herself, but like most people, she had the fleeting consideration of leading one like it. But she preferred being on her toes, not knowing what was next or how things would work out. She enjoyed working with children, never knowing what was going to come out of their mouthes next. And she enjoyed, right here, in the Doctor's arms, being wanted, even if it was for maybe a thousand different reasons. Traveling, not being alone, clinging perhaps to that idea of human normality through a friend and whatever was never said.

Finally, Toni pulled away, just barely. She stood close still, hands moving to sit firmly atop his shoulders. "Very unlikely that you'd ever get boring, Doctor." She whispered, a smile touched with a hint of sadness gingerly spreading her lips. "And you're already old." A squeeze against one of his shoulders, comfortingly and slightly playful. "You're right, though. It is my life, and I get to decide what I'd like to do with it all. And maybe someday I'd like the kids of my own, and the house, and bills... All that jazz. But right now, yeah, I'd happily get in the TARDIS and spend years with you."

She meant it, every last word of it. Life, in fact, was so very fleeting. There was nothing ever set in stone, or a real path to always follow. Everything was constantly changing, and while she enjoyed the life she created for herself in the absence of the Doctor, she mourned her time with him. It was always a rollercoaster, an adventure one right after another. There was no denying how happy she had been, whether bathing in sunlight on the beach they had once stopped at, or sitting in a diner and, yet again, being referred to as Hermione before saving so many people. She liked who she was with the Doctor, but she liked who she was when she wasn't, too. The only difference, even after five years, was that she still felt more herself than ever when she was clinging to the TARDIS' console and grinning at the Doctor as they tumbled through time and space.

"Doctor," she nearly whispered now, keeping her eye contact with him firm, "you think about endings too much. Everyone and everything withers, but you shouldn't be focusing on that when the person is still standing in front of you. Don't refuse yourself something or someone just because you think you know the end of the book, okay? It'll be sad regardless, but it's a bit sadder if you avoid spending time with people just to dodge particular feelings later on." She didn't really know where the speech came from, but she knew she had to say it, depth lingering in the once warm air now, tightening around her distractedly. "And I like it when you ramble. You're unapologetically you when you don't shut up."

The Doctor nodded his head, at first his eyes trailed away from Toni as he took in what she had told him. When his eyes did find their way back to Toni, it came with a smile, "Well then Toni Lucas" he started with a sniff, "Looks like i'll be doing a lot more of enjoying opposed to moping. Starting with the gift to Will..then maybe some fun adventures, i've got a trip or two in mind". His emotions danced around inside of him; a sudden spurt of energy and excitement overwhelming his senses. The best he could, The Doctor listened to Toni; taking in the moments as they came apart from dreading the moments that would come much later down the line. Sometimes it was hard for The Doctor to do that, to look at someone and not picture them old and living a regretful life because he took them away.

The Doctors attachment to Toni was something he held close, an attachment he wanted to preserve; maybe traveling would broaden that attachment more and leave it to blossom instead of locking it away. Her hazel brown eyes called out to him as he looked at her, almost memorizing him until clatter from downstairs reminded him of Will. "Will! Blimey, almost forgot! Allons-y Toni Lucas, best give him the gift now!" The Doctor proclaimed, jumping over to the closet and grabbing the box, "Faster i give this to him, bare his inevitable onslaught of happiness, the quicker i can whisk you away" he continued before pausing at his previous sentence, "Well..i mean take you away with me, well..journey? Travel? Whatever the right word is, not sure, whichever you prefer".

Happily, The Doctor sauntered to the edge of the door frame before looking back at Toni, "Oh! And don't think i'm going to let you boss me around like last time" he chuckled, winking at her before making his way towards the stairs. "Oi! Will! Can i get a hand?" He called down to Will as he slowly walked down the stairs, "Good lord Doctor! What a big box you have! Come, come, let me help darling" Will pandered, mostly joking. His hands nestled underneath the box aided in carrying it downstairs; the weight of the box only adding to Wills intrigue on its contents.

With a thud, the box rested on the kitchen counter, Will couldn't help himself as he leaned over to try and peak into it. "So, what's in it?" Will asked The Doctor, his hands running along the side of the worn down brown box, "So sweet mystery box..show me your secrets" Will whispered to the box. The Doctor watched in half disgust and half amusement, "Umm..Will, are you stroking..that box?" he slowly asked, almost afraid of the answer. Will suddenly pulled his hands back, "No" he answered quickly, "No not at all. Unless..i'm supposed to? Oh! Is it for me?! I think it's for me!". The Doctor smirked, crossing his legs as he leaned his shoulder against the wall on his left, "It was Toni's idea, i can't take all the credit" he joked, knowing it would cause a rouse out of Toni.

Toni knew what she had been saying was falling mostly on deaf ears. She knew that, whatever she said, the Doctor would still consume himself in the unsettling thoughts of the future. There was no saying what would happen, or what could, because with the Doctor, anything was possible. For reasons Toni didn't like to pick apart, she enjoyed the ability to not know what could happen. She liked the cliffhangers, the raw motivation kickstarted by a blinded view of the days to come. In the TARDIS, it was never clear on where they'd be next, or what ill-fated plan was chalked up by some species that always had to be stopped.

It turned out, the universe outside of Earth was as much a representation of the human race as any televised program. Every species had desires, whether they be negative or positive, and that always pushed them forward to their end goals. It was hard to say it all fascinated her, the running and the meetings of different desires. Some turned evil from those little scratches, itching until the negative seeped into the positive. Some turned to the greater good, burying the negative so far underground that it never seemed to exist to begin with. And Toni liked some of this, witnessing and helping. The negative sides came hand in hand, a package deal to balance out the universe. Mourning of ones not saved, meeting people who were notably lost causes. Seeing their plans, head on - with such determination that it was painful to see it used for chaos.

Deaths of loved ones, like a book ending with no closure. A life so bright, then out like a prematurely flipped light switch. They came from those possibilities, the ones Toni knew soured the Doctor's relationships and forced him away from seeing friends after dropping them off. Nothing was set in stone, everyone died in the end, and for someone like the Doctor to fear those endings... It was heartbreakingly human.

She followed him down the stairs in silence, entering the room behind the Doctor, lulled carefully into her own thoughts. It was only when she heard her name once more did the conversation practically replay in her head, the words she had captured unintentionally combining into sentences as her eyes locked on the Doctor. He was messing with her, already out of the serious conversation they had. Pushing hair behind her ear, Toni glanced at Will, eyebrows raised as a rather easy smile lifted her lips. "He's a vicious liar, Willy. You know for a fact I'd just get you a box with nothing in it. You're like a cat." She joked, moving over to Will to peck his cheek. "Now open your gift, you weirdo."

The Doctor noted the silence Toni displayed until he had spoken her name, his eyes scrutinizing her body language. Deep thought was a constant within himself, it was something The Doctor got used to; however it was something obviously Toni had gotten used to as well. He deducted that she knew he was still thinking about the conversation, his sudden energetic actions only masking a still raw emotional interior. His eyes fell on Will lazily as he watched him tear through the box, not completely paying attention to Will nor the oven himself and Toni had worked on. Best not to say anything i suppose He thought to himself, releasing a small sigh as Wills voice burst through the tension he was feeling inside of his thoughts.

"Whhaaaatt!!" Will exclaimed, his mouth gaping open almost as much as his eyes were wide, "I can't believe you would get me another one! Ooo! And one will enhancements!". His hands ran across the oven with such wonder and excitement, it was almost infectious as it caused a slight smirk to emerge across The Doctors face. His eyes fell over to Toni again before he yanked them away, and back onto Will; inside he began to wonder if it was truly good that he did come. Doing more hurt than good was a forte of his, and it seemed to come at the most inconvenient times. Out of all the countless planets he could have visited, saved lives or fought against dastardly villains, the TARDIS brought him here. She brought him here to deal with emotional ties and inside The Doctor was upset, like a son upset at his mother for making him do the right thing. He didn't want to admit emotional attachment, he just wanted to run as he always did; this left him wide open for attack..and further attachment.

For years The Doctor had to remind himself that he was not one of them, he was not a human and he could not have the relationships they did. For those years half his mind pulled him towards, what he felt was, his responsibility to the universe, the other half pulling him back to the responsibility to his friends and ones that were close. Unfortunately he had malnourished the later, and the result of that undernourishment stood before him at the present moment. A complete disconnect from Toni; not knowing what to tell her nor how to react to what she said.

Time spent running and not talking left The Doctor rusty, a complete fool when it came to his words when it pertained to emotional connections. His mouth could save him, make him sound highly intelligent and brilliant in the face of danger, and certain death; but when it came to talking to Toni, it failed almost on all points. The distraction from Will jumping around his new oven was much needed, it kept The Doctors eyes busy as his mind kept running. "I'm gonna make cookies!! Whooohoooo!" Will ran across the living room, "Can't wait for more ammo, ha-ha!" he proclaimed as he ran into the kitchen, gathering the required ingredients for baking. The Doctor smiled at Will, glad to see his comedic whit being used to his max potential, he brought him so much joy every time he saw him.

Outside a light drizzle began to fall, the pitter patter of the water droplets against the glass sliding glass door, beside him, caught The Doctors attention. A light smile returned to his face as he turned and looked across at the rain, he loved the rain and the calmness that it brought with it.

As soon as the rain began and Will had run off to make cookies, the mood turned somber. Gloomy in all it's glory, touched by the droplets gently tapping against the windows that the Doctor seemed to be relaxed by. Toni loved storms, the freedom they possessed and the force of absolute will. Still, the did remain quite fixed with that somberness. For a moment, Toni considered that she was perhaps the only one who noticed the raw potential in every droplet. They fell in rhythm, the sky crying to be noticed, and in all but one brief glance outdoors, she was wrapped tightly in a metaphorical blanket of darkened content. There was nothing normal of this day - strictly in only compared to her recent days. And while she wanted to sit and think about what her future would now entail, or where the Doctor would take her as soon as she stepped back into that beautiful box, all she wanted now was to watch the rain and not think at all.

Moving closer to the Doctor, she leaned into his side, giving him a knowing look before her brown eyes returned to the drizzle painted across glass. "Penny for your thoughts?" She asked, softly, nudging at an emotional line she was quite known to gracefully cross with those around her. Some would call it caring occasionally aggressively, some would just say it was relentless. Both were true, and she was tempted to smile at the recalled image of a lab partner in high school would had said nearly identical words when Toni just wouldn't let up. But instead, she let herself find calmness in the patterns the rain made when paths crossed on their claimed surface.

"Or maybe yours are worth a bit more?" She added, not long after, eyebrows lifting in that same manner they always did - teasing and playful. Toni barely leaned away to look up at him from the angle she refused to move from, trying to catch sight of his eyes. Although she more than likely knew she hadn't spent as much time with him as all his other companions, because their adventures faded quickly to a once again normal life, she still knew those eyes. She had spent many moments with him, much like the one they shared not long before Will came home - just observing the emotions he didn't shield within that brown. After all, it was the best distraction she could think of right now: focus on whatever wheels were spinning in the Doctor's head, and not her own.

The Doctors mind turned from simply watching the rain to analyzing it, thinking about how each individual drop was unique in its composition as well as weight. All held the potential to turn into something greater, when brought together; alone they simply crashed and burned on whatever surface lay beneath them. Almost a direct correlation to The Doctor and his travels, he enjoyed far more adventures when he was with someone opposed to only himself. Loneliness meant no holds barred, nothing stopping The Doctor from doing something he might ultimately regret. It also meant, sometimes, a hint of boredom based upon where he went; with his life being so long he had seen so much. With Toni though, it will be completely different.

Just as his thoughts drew to a close, a nudge sent him whirling back to present reality as he glanced over at Toni with a slight smirk. "Oh, i don't know if it's worth more. Depends on who you ask i suppose" He started, "But! Toni Lucas will take that penny and trade you for your thoughts on this". Turning, The Doctors eyes met Toni's as he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his psychic paper; he handed it to her as he continued, "I got this a few days back..it's a series of galactic coordinates, 48910-33265-140 Emporia. That last word is Greek for trading. Although i suppose it could be the name of something".

Failing to keep his voice down, The Doctor's conversation drew the attention of Will, who walked over to get a look at the pamphlet, "What are you two gobbling about over he- Oh my gosh!!! I've been accepted into the national cookie making contest?!". Jumping up and down his spot, Will's mouth dropped, "Haha! This day keeps getting better and better!", "Um..Will, might wanna check on your cookies" The Doctor pointed out. "Crap muffins!" Will exclaimed as he bolted back over to his cookies, Will's antics always brought a smile to The Doctors face, What an interesting man. This time whispering, The Doctor continued, "Not quite sure what it means..still i also am not sure if i should take up this lead or go somewhere else. I heard nothing bad happens at Disney Land or Disney World, suppose we could pop over there..hmm never been to a theme park on Earth before come to think of it".

"He is far too in love with cookies," Toni whispered, mostly to herself, as her gaze followed the bushy-haired man back out of the room in a chaotic rush. Only once Will disappeared from eye sight did she look back to the Doctor, then down to the psychic paper. She remembered those - or more specifically, the one the Doctor carried around like some type of official badge (which it occasionally was). It made the viewer see generally what the other wanted them to, most often to benefit the situation. Whether it showed a message, or a supposed ranking in some type of important organization, it seemed to always show the Doctor exactly what he was supposed to be seeing. Right now, it was galactic coordinates. She took the psychic paper out of his hands, skimming the numbers as if they had meant more to her now while still knowing little to nothing about them.

Flicking her gaze back up to the Doctor, she smirked, a captivating eagerness building in her irises at a dangerous speed. "Disney can wait. You've got coordinates, I suggest they're followed." It wasn't a suggestion, it usually never was with Toni. She was determined to drag the Doctor off to that location and to, mostly likely, a dangerous situation. The stakes were always high - nothing like burnt cookies, she knew. The smell wafting from the other room was notable enough to scrunch Toni's nose up, her challenging smirk redirecting into a bright smile as the fast-pace beeps of the smoke detector broke between herself and the Doctor. "Bloody..." She trailed off, laughing now as she routinely hopped onto the couch, balancing herself onto the back's edge as she quite smoothly disconnected the thing from the ceiling. It was the only one she had to handle, as the one nearest Will, unsafely so, was still disconnected from the last time the man had gotten distraction while making something.

"So," she hardly missed a beat, turning on the thinness of the couch's ledge as if the thing had magically become a balance beam. It could've been from all the practice she had. "Emporia. Like an emporium? If this isn't just some wickedly odd advertising, than it's something that has to be checked out, yeah? Not has to, we're going to regardless. In the morning, so Will doesn't have a sugar rush from poorly baked cookies without supervision."

The overwhelming screech of the smoke detector roared into The Doctors ears, causing a slight grimace to smear across his face. He had always hated those things, an annoying human invention with the intention of saving lives. Maybe it was warning them more than just the smoke caused by Will, maybe it was warning them that Will should not have any kind of oven in his possession. The Doctor smirked at the thought, before his attention was yanked away by Toni and her balancing act. Will exploded back into the living room, "aahh! Hot, hot, hot!" he exclaimed; two oven mitts protecting his hands as they cradled a cooking tray.

Smoke slithered up from the black cookies as Will ran them out of the sliding glass door, The Doctor rolled his eyes "Will! You can't take those outside" he shouted, trying to get Will's attention. His call seemed to fall of deaf ears as Will dropped the sheet down into the grass in front of him; The Doctor ran to the kitchen, immediately grabbing a nearby cup and filling it with water. Will stood over the sheet with a sigh, "Whew..that was a close one, could have burned down the house" he said relieved. The heat from the tray quickly spread to the surrounding grass blades, embers beginning to flake off to other blades to create more smoke. "Hey!" Will exclaimed as he was shoved assigned by The Doctor, the contents of the water trickling down to the grass surrounding the tray. The Doctor looked back at Will, once all the water was gone, "At what point did tossing this tray, onto dry grass, become a good idea?"; Will shrugged his shoulders, "Figured mother nature would take care of it".

The Doctor huffed, "Alright pick it up and come with me" he instructed as he returned to the inside of the house, moving straight to the oven he and Toni had created. Will trailed behind him, grabbing the tray before following The Doctor inside. Once making sure the, still, hot tray was tossed in the sink, The Doctor pulled Will's attention to the oven. "I'm not going to be here all the time so listen Will" he began, "Just because this has a max heat, doesn't mean everything needs max heat. Cookies are 350..i think, hold on..yeah 350. Use the timer and always set it 1 minute before what it says, that makes sure the cookies stay soft". Will gave The Doctor a look, almost concerned that the Time Lord was instructing him on how to bake; "Oh don't give me that look, i once had to stop Autons in Paris and ran into Pierre Herme, brilliant baker, good pastries". Will nodded his head, setting the oven to the settings The Doctor had recommended before grabbing another pack of cookies.

With Will preoccupied, for the time being, The Doctor turned his attention back to Toni, who had used the back of the couch as a balancing beam to disable the alarm. The ringing had finally stopped, marking Toni's victory over the alarm, "Alarm hacker and couch beam walker, hmm, i will keep that in mind with the rest of your talents" he joked, offering a hand up to Toni to ease her decent back to the ground, "Morning sounds good, although we may not make it if all these near fires continue".