Run While You Can

He wants to take it all back. Being created, finding Mal, and slowly, tortuously falling in love with her. He hadn't admitted it to anyone, not even himself, until now. It thrilled him beyond belief that she would be the one giving him a family. Instead, she sees it as a chore, something she has to carry aroud until she can pawn it off or forget about it. He rubs his temples, telling himself it was just another situation when he hears it.

Mal's scream seems to be hardwired into his brain. He quickly bounds out of the room, sonic out and running. He skids around corners, Madame Vastra and Jenny next to him and when they near the dining hall, Strax is standing, arms crossed and glaring.

"This boy is nothing more than a coward. He will never see the glory of battle if he cannot handle walking to dinner. I know the house is hideous but screaming like that won't solve anything boy!"

Eleven nears her but Vastra shakes her head and instead walks him into the dinner hall, Jenny doing the same with the Doctor.

Mal managed to calm her breathing at a much quicker rate then she even knew she was capable of.  She was too confused and startled to be embarrassed.  Glancing up at Strax, she scowled and shook her head.  It wasn't that at all.  Should she mention anything?  Anything at all?  Or just brush it off like nothing happened?  Well, she would mention it if anyone asked.

Slowly standing, she cleared her throat and drifted towards the dinner hall.  Mal felt like she'd been zombified.  All the stress was to blame, wasn't it?  Probably, yes.  She lingered in the doorway and cleared her throat.  She'd just simply ask which room she was allowed to use so she could sleep but was taken aback at the hoarse whisper that came out instead.

"It's too soon."  What?  Those were not the words she wanted to say at all.  In fact she didn't even think them.  Yet it was her voice and in a way it felt right.  It was like that was exactly what she planned on saying.  "You'll kill him..."  The statement came out so quiet those who were even paying attention would have to read her lips.

Her brows furrowed, lips parted and eyes reflected her confusion.  Mal forgot about what transpired upon their few moments of arriving and stared at the Doctor like he'd have answers.  Maybe she was going crazy.  Probably going crazy.  Absently she pushed off the wall and collapsed in one of the chairs around the table.  Everything seemed so distant.  The people, the sounds, the lights, her mind.  She felt like she was drifting and her body lightly swayed with this thought.

"I'm fine."  Mal told them though no one asked.  Her eyes closed for a long moment before opening, seeing ragged pieces of metal stuck in the wall, reaching out and ringing with potential.  Potential of what?  Hurting someone?  Probably.  Her head lolled as she stared up at the ceiling.  It was gone, revealing a darkened sky.  Silver clouds twisted and swirled around.  It was beautiful and a bit creepy.  She was so far gone none of it felt real.  It reminded her of being high, quite honestly.  But Mal hadn't done drugs for a long time and she was sure no one had slipped her anything.

"You're messing up the timeline." Mal's voice was drunken, carefree, she didn't even know what she was saying.  It would be so easy to slip away, there was nothing holding her here.  Some of her senses returned when she gasped in pain, holding her left palm like she'd been cut.  But it didn't hurt and when she looked at her hand there was nothing there.

But the thought of pain was enough and she snapped back into place.  Right here in the moment.  The light feeling was gone, the room was not filled with scrap metal and the roof was in place.  Everybody was even staring at her.  She shifted in her seat, not sure what to make of this.  "Er.. I... sleep.  Uhm, sorry, is there a bedroom...?"

Jenny leads her away and Vastra arches a brow. Her and Strax pull him down to eat, and he speaks through sips of water.

"Something is wrong. Look, I know she seems a bit like a nutter, believe me, I've met her, but honestly she has never gone that far. She told me she becomes something... someone horrible, someone who can kill and maim and do it without a second thought. There has to be a way to cahnge her time line. Something is going to happen tonight that might put her on the wrong path..."

Vastra is up and out of the room to his confusion. Moments later she arrives, Jenny in tow, gripping the human girl tightly.

"It could be her first real kill, you never know and My wife isn't going near your unstable girlfriend."

Eleven glares, but still thinking. What could it be. Something will change, something...

He gets up and turns to speak towards them, hand up.

"I'm staying with her tonight... In the same room. Don't come in, don't knock, don't even breath near that door. If I'm there, if this is the night I die permanently, I want you to promise me you'll help her. Help my family."

Vastra nods slowly, Strax bowing his head in agreement as the Doctor wanders towards Mal.

Mal is taken out of the hall and she eyes Jenny.  She bites her lip before starting to shake.  She feels so cold yet hot.  It's weird.  "Jenny, was it?  I'm sorry.  It's been.... it's been an interesting few weeks.  I-I don't mean..."  But she doesn't have time to finish since Vastra is there in moments, grabbing her roughly and dragging her back.

She struggles, startled by it all and muttering "ow".  Damn, the lizard lady had one hell of a grip.  Whoa, wait, what?  "W-wait, what?  Kill?  N-no one's killing anyone tonight, man!  I'm... I'm good, see?  I don't... there is no reason... Oh god."  They thought she was... unstable?  Well, she was.  But that was because she needed sleep.  Everything would be better in the morning, Mal was trying to convince herself of that.

She's staring at the Doctor, begging him silently to do something.  Vastra's grip loosened enough for Mal to break away and stumble over to the Doctor, grabbing onto him and letting out a shuttering sigh.  "You don't think...?"  Mal was appalled he would think he was going to die.  By her hands.  But she didn't go any farther with anything.  Remorse was already began to fill her up and so was fear.  Always fear.  Tonight couldn't be it, could it?  Why?  What was the explanation?  What was happening to her?

He leads her away, giving the lot a look that said he meant it. Once he'd reached a bedroom he pulls his sonic out, locking the door and then flopping on the bed. He wanted to peel his dirty clothes off and just hold her, tell her he believed in her and that everything would be fine. He settle for stripping, remaining silent as he starts with his shoes. The Chelsey boots slide off, followed by maroon wool socks, then the tight jeans and finally he wrinkles his nose as he peels the shirt of himself. He looks up at her, pointing towards the bathroom.

"I'm going to... I mean, would you like to come with me?"

He didn't want her out of his sight and he quite frankly could care less that he was naked and asking the woman pregnant with his child if she'd like a soak.

Mal sat on the bed, the springs groaning as she perched on the edge. She was staring at the door with a stern expression. She felt normal enough besides the drop in temperature. Catching sick, she was. The bed was quite inviting and she was about to curl up at the bottom until the Doctor spoke up.

"What?" She looked at him before slowly turning her head to look at the bathroom. Oh. Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt. A hot bath would probably chase away the ice that was forming in her bones. Mal rubbed at an arm ridden with goosebumps as she nodded wordlessly.

Mal stood and walked towards the bathroom, glancing back at the Doctor with a tiny smirk. "I knew you'd try to get me out of my clothes again." She disappeared behind the door and turned on the taps before starting to struggle out of her clothes.

"Blimey you try and help the mother of your child and suddenly there's an agenda..."

He mutters, padding in behind her. Mal was going to use the tub, but in the corner of the room sat a stone hot tub. It had to be filled manually but the steaming water seemed to call his name and he walks by her, dipping his foot in before deciding to just go for it. The water feels like acid, but the pain is great and he relaxes, glad the temperature wasn't any higher. How embarrassing would melting be? He leans back, watching her get settled before deciding to let his eyes rest for a bit.

((The first time I posted this I think I misinterpreted what you were saying so changed it a bit <___<))

Mal glanced at the hot tub then stared at the tub as the water poured in.  She turned off the taps and stared at the water for a bit before sighing and moved to crawl in.  Mal bit back a yelp of pain when her foot touched the water.  Damn, that burned.  She had to inch herself little by little, taking a ridiculous amount of time just to get in.  

With a huff she finally settled down and looked over at the Doctor.  His eyes were closed and his face was relaxed.  Mal would do the same but she was worried she'd fall asleep and drown.  So she just decided to stare.

He didn't deserve to hurt.  And Mal had hurt him, hadn't she?  He seemed to genuinely care about her and their kid.  How had she missed that?  Mal had thought he was acting based on what had occurred more than actually wanting this.  But his words should have told her otherwise.  Her own insecurities and doubts always twisted things around to make her believe the worst.  Quit being so stupid and selfish.

"I'm sorry." She said in a hushed tone.

He still has his eyes closed when he speaks.

"Don't be, don't you ever be sorry to me. I'm the one who's dangerous. I had companions you know, before I arrived in London... and I remember one telling me, "You know what's dangerous about you? It's not that you make people take risks, it's that you make them want to impress you. You make it so they don't want to let you down. You have no idea how dangerous you make people to themselves when you're around.", and he was right. Absolutely right. I make people become these desperate, clever things, and then they destroy themselves from the inside out. I don't want to be that for you... I want normalcy, I want something that I know will last. I want you to make me a danger to myself, more so now than ever before because I'd rather die than lose someone else I care about..."

He felt dramatic, but as he blamed the hot tub for the moisture falling from closed lids, He knew he meant every word. It wasn't that her killing him was unfortunate, or rather buxom, but it was the fact that he himself had been the cause of so many deaths. In his eyes, it was an ultimate Karma he'd accept if the universe so willed it. He hadn't been lying when he had said he was tired of running.

She felt speechless at that. It took a while to collect her thoughts well enough to form a reply of some sort. Before she delivered it she shifted her position, wrapping on arm around her knees while placing a hand on his knee. "I hardly think you're the reason I'm a causality to myself. Clutz all my life and added bad luck to the pile. You were just an interesting addition. I never wanted to impress you, I just never wanted to be the reason you hurt. Guess I haven't done a very good job."

Mal let out a sigh and closed her eyes, feeling sick. "Please, just... you can't just throw yourself around like that. Doc, you're a better person than I am. I'll be okay, we all will be, and you won't have to die. You won't." She bit her lip as she moved closer, gingerly reaching out and trailing the tips of her fingers down his cheek. The water on her hands added to what she assumed were tears. It was choking her up, closed off any other words she may have wanted to add.

He opens his eyes at her caress, nuzzling her hand as he let's his tears fall freely. No sobbing, it's all silent and his brows knit together.

"Your not hurting me now... but what your afraid to become, that isn't hurting me either. It's angrer your seeing right now. I'm angry that I can't stop you from being afraid of yourself. I don't want you to be like me, I want you to believe in yourself, thrive and believe and just hold on to what little conviction you have because if you become as gruesome and as warped as you say you will... Mal, I'll have to stop you. You know I will."

Tears are running down her face as he speaks. She's nodding her head as she continues to stroke his face. "I know. And I want you to. Please, promise me.. promise me you'll be the one to do it, if it comes to that. Kill me. I don't want to hurt anyone. Especially not you. Stop me..." She turns her cheek to rest on the tops of her knees as she silently sobs. Her hand drops away from him to cover up her own face. It hurt so much to know what the future had in store without knowing how it happened, why it happened, or what they could do to stop it.

She grunted in pain, her body shaking as she gasped and wrapped herself up in a ball. Not again, no. She felt light, confused, dazed. Her stomach was cramping up painfully and caused another groan to escape her. What was going on? Miscarriage. The word startled her as the voice spoke loudly in her mind. It wasn't hers or anyone's she recognized. What? What?!

"No..." She drew out and gasped again as another wave of pain hit her. As suddenly as all of this happened it stopped. Nothing hurt and the dizziness faded away. Mal's eyes were shut tight and she didn't open them until she counted to ten. "What... what?" She asked dumbly.

He hears her, and before he can promise anything she grunts. Her pain is evident and he's at her side, holding her hand and asking frantic questions. But as soon as it had come it stopped and he stares at her, unsure of whether or not that was a good thing or if it meant that any threat they may face was imminent. He watches her intently, gripping her hand tightly.

She holds onto him, breathing quickly due to her fear. Her hand tightens around his and, though she really doesn't want to be clingy, she moves closer and lays her head on his shoulder. This was her way to break away from his gaze, it was too much to stare into. "I'm not... it... doesn't... I don't understand. What is it? What keeps doing that? I keep seeing things, hearing things, experiencing things. But they aren't real, they can't be. It's only happening to me. Strax didn't see the body. I said things in the dinner hall that I didn't mean to. I don't even know where they came from... N-now I... it hurt. And I heard one word. A man said it. One word. What's going on?"

Mal asked him because she felt like he'd have all the answers. But maybe the answer was as simple to say she was going bonkers, unstable, crazy. She started to speculate maybe all of this would continue to happen until one day she snapped and went on a rampage. But no, that wouldn't be her. Mal didn't think it would happen like that. Well, maybe it could.

He thinks. She was seeing and hearing things, things that no one else was seeing... He looks at her, afraid of his conclusion. It wasn't possible, was it? He takes her face into his hands, eyes wide, full of fear.

"The question right now Mal... The question I'm afraid to ask is, is this really you?"

He remembers how the workers at the plant would sometimes think their gangers were themselves. How they'd cut off a limb and be surprised they were alive. He remembers Amy's harsh treatment, but she had aimed the abuse at the 'real' deal. He had only heard it, felt the sting and pain. Now he was afraid to come to the conclusion he knew might be inevitable.

She never liked seeing fear in his eyes. It was probably unfair of her but she relied on him to know all the answers, to be her rock. She was shaking again, overwhelmed by it all. "Wh-what? What do you mean? This.. this is really me. Who else would I be? " Mal brings her hands up to cover his, staring into his eyes with terror and confusion.

"Merging incomplete. He's gone. My... it's.... Luci..." Mal just started to speak again, the words out of her mouth but yet again she never thought them. "She's off course, I'm off course. You need to... bring it back... we need him.... important..." Mal swallowed and yelped when shards of metal burst from the wall and the roof tore away to reveal the black sky as it did in the dinner hall. The Doctor couldn't see it. So she explained what she was seeing to him in a shaky tone, not sure if she was competent enough with all her blubbering. The sparkling metal, twisted rods and blood. The black sky loomed overhead, glowing clouds drifted along. And she heard something too. A whisper. That's when she went still and strained to listen.

Here lies your chance. Take it. Save them. Enter a coward and exit a star. It was her voice, her very own voice whispering in her ear. She shivered, finding this too freaky and odd. What was it? What?

Mal seemed to blackout for a few heartbeats. But she sprung back with a gasp. Or at least she thought she did. But no, it wasn't right. She was fully clothed and standing in nothing. On nothing. There was nothing back blackness and a single spotlight on herself. But not soon after another appeared, showing a silhouetted person was her company. Mal opened her mouth to speak but the figure raised its hand and silenced her. "I have knocked us off course. I need him. You need him. The child is dead if you remain. Split apart your family. Go on alone. It's your only hope to keep them safe. Both of them. The timeline has been knocked off course. Set it right. Run. Be apart. Together it will only remain wibbly wobbly." The shadow stepped closer. It was her. Like looking into a mirror. Mal was staring at herself. She had listened to her own voice warn her.

How did that make any sense? The ground opened and swallowed her, forcing Mal to wake back up in the tub where she had been. She must have been thrashing throughout that whole episode since there was water everywhere and her limbs hurt from smacking them against the tub. "Doctor...." Her voice was hoarse. Great, so she had been screaming again. Could this get any worse?

It wasn't flesh problems, it couldn't be that monster from Mars. He holds her, tightly, and says the only things he can say when he was as powerless and frightened as he was at that moment.

"Don't listen. You stay with me, here, be with me. Don't you dare leave me, don't you ever in your life think you can leave us. Don't lose to whatever is going on, don't give up on our family before it's even started. This isn't something you want, and I respect that, but this is something that has to happen. Your the Mother to a whole new race. Your the breath of life... Trust me, because I'm here. I'm the Doctor and I'm here."

His brain can't work as fast as he's used to. The turmoil of losing another child, another companion is frightening and he clings to her, speaking about everything, about nothing. He tells her he's fond of her, how he had met his end only to be brought back. He admits he used to dabble in carpentry, and he would be building a cradle for the baby. He just speaks, spews facts, memories, feelings, anything he can say is said. He wants to keep her grounded, to keep her in her own time. Whatever is was that was interfering, it was getting desperate.

Mal shivers despite being submerged in the hot water of the tub.  Her arms reach up and wrap around the Doctor's neck, keeping him close as she listened to the rumble of his chest as he spoke.  She wants him to stop talking, he's making it sound like she's dying.  Yet she doesn't want him to stop since it was working, keeping her here in this mindset.  A long sigh escapes her as she remains still, her lip twitching slightly in a form of a smile.  

"Can we just... forget it?  Go to sleep?  I-I don't know what to do or what I'm doing. I don't know anything.  And I don't know what's happening to me.  I'm scared...  I don't want to lost the kid, okay?  I don't.  But it felt like I did... or will... Why do I always feel a sense of foreboding danger?  Why can't people like us just be... happy?"

He hugs her as she speaks. He thinks it's a gift for her to view him as a person. No one back in the 22nd century had, so he stopped identifying as flesh. He nods when she mentions sleep, and hopes, in his mind, that maybe, just maybe, they can get through this. He stands, helping her up as well, the water riveting down pale skin. He was a bit flushed from the heat but he felt much better and he knows that Jenny had laid out clothing for them by now.

"Shall we head to bed? I'll keep an eye on you tonight, so don't worry."

Mal stands, her legs feel like jelly but she managed not to fall. She reached for a towel and started to dry off, wrapping it around herself and shivering. It was so cold. "I always worry." She mumbled before shaking her head to disregard her comment. "Yeah, I'm... I'm tired. You'll... lay with me, then?"

She bit her lip but didn't wait for an answer. She walked out and noticed a nightgown laying across the bed as well as a one piece pyjama suit. With a huff she dropped the towel and pulled on the gown before flopping on the bed. It was too comfy the way she was to properly enter the sheets though the goosebumps rising on her body was trying to convince her to get under the blankets. With a grunt she pulled herself up to do just that and looked over at the Doctor, patting the space beside her in a form of beckoning.

He had followed, towel slung low on skinny hips. He takes an extra towel, beginning to dry his hair off as he walks. When he enters he see her, dressed and comfortable and give a small smile as she motions for him to join. He changes quickly, suddenly conscious about his body and deciding he should than Madame Vastra for the change of clothing and the bath. As he slides in, he leaves a bit of space between them, unsure of how to act at this point.

Mal felt her insecurity spike, the space was like a canyon between them. After watching him for a few moments after he got settled she took a calming breath before rolling over and wrapping her arm around his lower back. She wasn't sure where they stood but she needed him to just be there. And he was. She didn't think he'd leave her, not if she was to base her evidence on everything he'd aid to her. Mal breathed in deeply, noting the old yet clean scent of the pyjamas mixed with her Doctor's natural odour. Her eyes close on their own accord as she leans in closer, seemingly trying to suck the comfort from him just by being close. Funny how a few weeks ago she wouldn't even consider touching him yet now it's all she wanted to do. Well, to a certain extent, of course. She just wanted to hold him until all of this was over and she was convinced they were both still here.

He told her not to run, that she wouldn't be able to. But the warnings for her to do just that were playing in her mind, twisting her heart in pain. Why was she encouraged to run? What would happen if she didn't? Would he die? But how? Would be kill him?

Mal's brain kept moving though she was begging it to shut down for the night and let her sleep.

He can feel her thinking. It was an odd thought to have but he can feel the aura of her buzzing with unanswered questions, and he knows he shouldn't feel it, but the helplessness had crawled into him long ago and all he could now is think. He needed to figure out how to keep her here. He couldn't lock her away, be daft and guard her for the rest of their lives... But he'd outlive her, and they had a child to tend to, whether they stayed together or not. He presses a timid kiss to her forehead, and pulls her flush against himself. This was all he could offer, all he could do. He was the copy of a mad man in a box. That man could save an entire universe more than a countless amount of times.

He couldn't even stop someone he was fond of from slipping past his fingers.

Mal tightened her hold on him, planting a kiss to his sternum since that's where her face happened to be. Her worry was causing her shoulders to tighten but her eyes began to droop. The flurry in her mind was calming as she thought about just being here. Nothing bad was happening this very second and she clung onto that truth dearly. She drooped further into a semi unconscious state, her breathing was calmer though her senses were still aware of the room. It was as if she was expecting something or someone to be there. But soon after her breathing came in slow, relaxed intervals which indicated she was asleep.

Mal was completely unaware of everything including the Doctor's insecurities and uncertainty.

He didn't sleep. he watches her with hard eyes. The night dragged on and when morning came, he'd hoped relief would follow. Instead, the tightening in his chest lessened but remained. It was an echo of warning, to protect Mal and save her from herself.

He was sure his age hadn't shown until that moment.

A knock came from the large oak door and Jenny stands at the foot of their bed, arching a brow at their state but saying nothing about it. Instead she motions towards the clothing bags in each of her arms, before quietly leaving the room.