No More Tears, I Promise.

((For Nine and myself))

Back. Back here. Back where? London. Of course it was London. When? When in London? Mal fiddled with the vortex manipulator as she tried to figure out her position. The year was 2012. Good, she got the right year this time. It seemed like the last three times she visited London of her past she promised herself it would be the last time. And it should be. But she just couldn't stay away from the familiar, from all the places she knew she'd find them. Them being her friends, the familiar faces. A few knew. Why was it she was keeping it hidden? They could help her. But no, no she couldn't run into certain people. Which was why she should leave. Leave now. Now.

Mal stuck her hands into her pocket and started walking down the dim lit streets of London, ignoring her conscience as she'd done so many times this past while. She listened as a metal can was knocked over, the sound of rummaging was heard, people talking, adolescence shouting. She breathed in the polluted air that always had a hint of mint and food. It felt like she was mourning this place, and perhaps she was. The petite girl had been filled with self pity but was working her way over that mountain. But that bit was easier in comparison to letting it go. To letting this all go.

With a saddened sigh she approached her old coffee shop and leaning against the wall. Sooner or later something would happen. Someone may show up and Mal found herself hoping it to be true even though she figured it could be a bad idea. She always did say to much when her nerves got shaken up. Maybe someone would scare her away before she ran into a familiar face. Nah, if anyone would be doing the scaring it was Mal. Her face was ashen, eyes grave, but at least she had a decent amount of weight to her.

Mal stared at the ground for a while, trying to pick through and organize her thoughts. She felt distant again like she could float away if the wind picked up. The sky grew darker in her eyes, the clouds blazing silver. She knew that's what it looked like before even looking, now all she had to wait for were the shards of metal, the rods. The twisting, dangerous debris that she had worked out was from an alien ship. How had she thought that since she'd never seen it in person? Well, Mal wondered what else it could be. Those metal bits never came, her own voice whispered harshly in her head 'here' and it echoed, causing Mal to jerk her head up and scan the mass of people.

He was fairly easy to pick out and not only because he was tall. His trademark leather jacket was usually a give away too. Mal didn't move right away, just watched him make his way down the side walk while she convinced herself not to run. What was she going to say? What should she say? If Mal was being honest with herself then she would admit she only came here to find comfort. Well, not the pat on the back sort of thing. But she found comfort in things she knew. Good, got a little glimpse now let's go.

However, Mal's feet had other plans as she pushed off the wall and walked towards the Doctor. She wrung her hands together in nerves as she finally got close enough to say something. Just a little greeting, a smile, maybe a teasing solute. Anything light-hearted and happy so he wouldn't expect anything was wrong. After just standing there, struck without a clue, Mal finally cleared her throat and murmured, "Hello..."

Mal cleared her throat again and moved from foot to foot, staring at the ground in an attempt to avoid eye contact. She was scolding herself mentally that she didn't just leave. Now what was she suppose to do? Run? That would just look ridiculous and he would probably come after her. Did she say something? What was there to say?

The Doctor made it difficult for her to continue her staring contest with the pavement when he stepped forward and ducked his head down. Taking in a slow breath she finally looked into his blue eyes and seemed uncertain with his demand. Most of her wanted her to say that everything was fine and he didn't need to worry about her. However, Mal knew her impulsive behaviour wouldn't allow for that. But to reveal anything would make her emotional and she was well acquainted with his awkwardness around blubbering apes. So she straightened her back, deadening her emotions so her face turned blank and allowed her to suppress the surge of depression. Her hazel eyes were watery but the salty drops never fell. She stated with a small shudder, "I'm pregnant."

Oh great, just announce it. That was a brilliant thing to do, wasn't it? Mal watched the Doctor's face closely, her neutral expression still plastered on her face as she tried to hide her distress. It wasn't the fact she was going to have a damn kid that was ruining her, it was everything she had to go through to ensure everyone's safety that was tearing her apart. And suddenly she wanted to ask the Time Lord for help. But what did that mean? How could he possibly help her?

Mal was concentrating on keeping her breathing from running rampant. With another heavy sigh she raised her hand up, brushing it over her head and down to her neck, resting it there and pinching the muscle that was tightening up. "Not yours." She said quietly after noticing is reaction. Well to his credit his face didn't reflect it much, just his eyes. Of course he'd be panicked and perhaps Mal should have said a bit more but this topic was hard enough to choke out.

At his question she looked away, stared down the street blankly as she rattled her brain. What did she want him to do? Mal was quite unsure. But there had to be something, anything. "How far would you go? I just need... one... on single person to trust. Trust enough to work with me. To help me... get out, I guess. I keep coming back because I'm stupid, I don't have the resources. But I can't tell you more unless I know... unless you tell me you'd do anything. Please..." Mal could feel the border of hysterics rising up but was impressed she managed to beat it back down.

Mal looked at him a long while as if trying to decide if he was trustworthy enough or not. She seemed to have decided since she reached out and took his hands, a plea shone in her eyes. "I want you to keep them away from me. Torchwood. My Doctor and anyone who would help him find me. Please, god, please. I'm sorry, this is horrible of me to expect but I'm... I'm going crazy with the stress. My personal timeline isn't even here any more. It's in the future. I only did it to keep me away from him... him. Because if I didn't he'd die. Or I'd die. Or it would die." Rambling, was she rambling? It was with nothing even. She was being vague. Why did she expect the man in front of her to even know what she was talking about?

Mal suddenly choked back a sob and closed her eyes, dropping his hand to wrap her arms around herself as she fought for composure. "I don't know what I'm going to do! I'm so frightened... I don't know how to do any of this on my own. I just don't. This is more that pity... I feel bad for the kid who's stuck with this. With me. What if this is the reason I lose it? The future me... she's terrible and never mentions a kid. Does it die?"

Miscarriage. The word rang in her head the same way it had once before, a few weeks ago. Was it a warning or a delusion? Mal wasn't sure but it made her worry yet made her relieved. If the kid died nothing would be okay with the Doctor and her. If the kid lived... well, she wasn't sure. How long was she suppose to run exactly?

Mal tries to protest, tugging on her hand a bit but easily giving in and followed the Doctor back to his TARDIS. Once inside she looked up at the rotor and scanned the control room before glancing back him. She didn't speak up right away, just wondered up the rail and sat on the jump seat. She considered getting away using her manipulator but tossed away that idea. With another sigh she rested her chin in her hands, propping her elbows on her knees. Her eyes closed and she cleared her throat, "I don't know if you're aware but your eleventh incarnation has another self made from flesh. I-I ran into him... and he was saying how... how... it doesn't matter, long story short he told me he was my Doctor." She blushed slightly, angling her head away to try and hide. Mal wasn't going to admit she liked calling him that.

"Torchwood got a hold of us to and... and... practically... mated us. In hopes to make a new Time Lord to protect the Earth while you go gallivanting away or whatever. There were a bunch of death threats involved if we didn't follow through and I would have been murdered if we didn't cooperate. B-but they had pumped me up with some aphrodisiac anyway so...." She shrugged and cleared her throat, choking up.

"We escaped and have been chased ever since but I just can't be around him. My Doctor. I think I'm going to hurt him if we stay together. Like, fatally hurt him..." Was that enough? She hoped so. The rest of Mal's energy was zapped out of her as if she pulled the plug to a drain.

She just stared at the console as it hummed, shivering from the overwhelming emotions. Mal didn't want to mention the hallucinations she'd been having. That would only draw up more questions she didn't know how to answer or if she would even answer them. He'd probably ask what they were about and she'd be expected just to say it all. And she couldn't, just couldn't. She began to wonder if this Doctor even knew about her future. Well, she didn't want to get into that either.

He was crouched by her when Mal's blurry mind started to pay attention again. She looked at him with confusion as he spoke. Instantly she began to nod and murmured something in acknowledgement. "I'm running to protect everyone, yes." Mal wanted to just bypass his final comment but couldn't. It caused her to squirm and look disturbed. "Why? Why not? I can't come back here. I... it hurts too much. Why do you want to see me still?" The light feeling was creeping its way back into Mal's head and she leaned back fully in the chair so she wouldn't topple over.

Mal listened to the Doctor closely, drawing in his words and pondering them. Her hands gripped the fabric of her pants as the Doctor placed his over hers. He probably had been through worse, yes, but he was much more courageous and strong than she was. And he had no idea. No idea what you turn into. And you're not going to mention it? Mal brushed the thought away when they're foreheads met. She closed her eyes and finally let out a small choke that wasn't dissimilar to a sob. Oh, great.

She blamed the hormones for making her cry and she declared through a sniffle, "I really hate you." Mal threw her arms around him in a tight hug, not letting him go as her tears kept running down her face. Ugh, he had said something touching and it just triggered her. That was a tad pathetic but she figured there wasn't much lower she could go at this point.

Mal was so thankful she felt like she could cry again. Lucky for the two of them she didn't. She didn't want to voice anything else, was currently trying to shove everything back and away from her mind's reach. Clearing her throat and licking her lips, she looked at the Doctor and shrugged a little. "I don't know... Just away from here. Anywhere, I'll go anywhere." Well, as long as it wasn't dangerous but she didn't think she'd have to point that out, right?

She rubbed at one of her shoulders absently as she began to think about what she would have done if she never came here for help. What would have happened if she had ran into her Doctor? He hadn't wanted her to leave his sight and yet she ran when she could. He must feel so betrayed, feel so much pain. It caused her to stop and grimace, her own pain flaring up. But she cleared her throat once more, brushed passed her feelings, and said, "Thank you. Really, thanks."

Mal watched the Doctor work around the console, comparing his manoeuvring with dancing. It was like a dance with the TARDIS and the thought served to highly amuse her since ship and pilot were like an inseparable couple who always fought. She was glad she was already sitting since the TARDIS jerked around as they headed toward where ever it was the Doctor was taking her. When they landed she peaked an eye open, glancing at the taxi man before looking over at the doors. "Should I be concerned?" Mal pursed her lips and rose from the chair though didn't make any advancements to leave the blue box.

Mal raised her eyebrow at him as she gave him a sceptical look, one he was probably use to by now. She turned and walked unhurriedly towards the doors that loomed just ahead. There was no spunk in her step, just dull clomping as she finally got there and opened the door. She stepped out and looked around, amazed and pleased with the sight there. Mal brushed a loose strand of hair from her face as she walked further out, observing the lights and people and booths that smelled of steaming food. She had no idea where they were though the design of it all made her conclude Asia.

It was dusk but lanterns were already lit, drawing her attention to poke at the papery item, a small smile twitching her lips. Mal was amused the Doctor would take her somewhere with lights but figured he would considering he knew she loved them. She swallowed down her anxiety and attempted to set it aside as she bit her lower lip and continued to explore with her eyes. "It's gorgeous.... where are we? "

Mal turned to look at him with wonder. At the mention of food she could feel her stomach agreeing with what he said which caused her to smile a bit sheepishly. When he grabbed her hand she looked at the physical link before searching each passing face they came across. Eventually they ended up at the lake and Mal took a step to stand beside the Doctor, a bigger grin now rising on her face.

"Of course." It was just like that other planet they went to, the one with the glowing plants and fascinating sky. Slyly looking at the Doctor, she eased a bit of her tension by teasing, "Never would have pegged you as the romantic type."

Mal grinned, using the rail as support as the Doctor knocked into her. "Hm, well you do a pretty good job at winging it. I don't even understand people half the time and I am one." A complicated one that is completely abnormal but don't get into that. Clearing her throat she turned to stare out at the fireworks until her stomach decided to growl at her. Ta that she hung her head and chanced at glance at the Doctor. If he noticed he made no sign of it until he announced how hungry Mal looked and started to lead her towards the stalls.

"Jeez, you'd think I was royalty with an escort like you. Parting people like the red sea. But I guess that's just what you do, eh?" A sudden wave of anxiety hit her and she bit her lip, shaking her head and quickly moving on to a different topic. "Oh, smell that? Noodle bowl... that;s totally my choice. Oh, and you're payin', yeah?" Maybe she was trying too hard to sound chipper, she only sounded strained at the moment. Food would help, definitely.