Counting Stars~

Subject: Re: Counting Stars~ Fri Nov 29, 2013 4:27 am

There was something about fear that sets you off guard. It took her by total surprise when out of nowhere the soft clearing of a throat revealed the presence of said Doctor. She gasped and scrambled for purchase, pulling herself up from the ground and staring at him in shock. When did he even show up? He wasn't supposed to appear for awhile yet, this was her time alone. Go back! she wished to shout but she only stared, wide-eyed like a deer caught in headlights. Ramona tried to articulate some form of reply but only succeeded in looking like a fish, ignoring the bleeding and suddenly ashamed of her actions.

She crouched down and bent her head between her arms, hiding her face behind warm skin. He couldn't look, couldn't see, coudln't know. It wasn't fair, wasn't time, why did it have to be him? Ramona trembled but stayed put, unmoving save the sharp intake of breath she used to try and calm herself. Raw emotion was a powerful thing, she didn't want to hurt anybody.

Subject: Re: Counting Stars~ Fri Nov 29, 2013 4:31 am

Watching her curl up in on herself shocked the Doctor. She was so... Broken, lost and angry over what happened. Silently cursing himself once more, he stalked over and reached down, picking Ramona up in his arms to carry her over to one of the armchairs set around the library. "Ramona... What happened?" He whispered, kneeling down next to the chair and slowly running a hand over her hair, trying to calm her down as she curled up on the chair, still as a statue.

Watching her do this broke his hearts, tore at his conscious and made him want to kill who did this do her. His Ramona, so... Raw, angry and lashing out like this. It had to stop, he couldn't see her do this anymore. "Ramona, talk to me."

Subject: Re: Counting Stars~ Fri Nov 29, 2013 4:46 am

She was being lifted, moved, set down and suddenly she was being loved by the plush seats of one of the armchairs. Her body sank into the comfort and Ramona unfolded before the Doctor had even begun speaking, eyes staring at him blankly. This was the moment she hadn't wanted to bring about, he was supposed to stay away. "It's all your fault." She states bluntly, no point beating around the bush. Her heart threatens to pound out of her chest, her breath comes quicker. "It's your fault that I'm here, your fault this all happened." Ramona is leaning forward, using the arms to help her to her feet. She's staring down at the Doctor, staring down at that lovely face. Those eyes, the shorn crest of his head, even those ears... Such concern, intimate worry rested in that face, it didn't belong there. But it was his fault. There was nothing to be done.

Ramona moved around him and back toward the mess, stopping just where the destruction ended, or started? Either way. She didn't want to, didn't want to. Couldn't. Stop! Her heart came to a shocking stop and Ramona gasped, "I love you Doctor," And then the air was rushing into frozen lungs, pushing blood through a heavy heart. Ramona shook her head and hid her face, "And don't you dare judge me for it," She whirled to face him, red eyes, red face, fists curled and nails biting her palms. "A future you can't escape is undoubtedly the best one for you." She turned again and wandered back into her mess. "I can't help some things heaven knows I tried, God- I tried so hard." This was the reason, this crazy little human thing called love started all of it. It really was his fault, unfortunately he could not help the after-effects of what that emotion caused. Especially when he didn't know and had no control over the situation. That did not excuse the fact that he started it.

Ramona flinched at nothing and wrapped herself in hug.

(THERE GUYS, SHE SAID IT)

Subject: Re: Counting Stars~ Fri Nov 29, 2013 4:57 am

There it was, three words he heard. Three words he knew but didn't accept she would ever think them. Three bloody words he never thought would ever cause any issue until now. "Ah..." He murmured, turning around to fall into the chair himself, elbow resting on the arm next to him and hand supporting his jaw as he simply stared at her blankly. He wasn't exactly sure what to make of this. Granted he always felt something, not just from her, but others too. There were always others that felt it, but only she came forward with it, only she would tell him flat-out that she loved him, then went to blame him for all that happened.

Granted it would be his fault, all charm and ears, he was. He really ought to tone it down, but love. Blimey... Dropping his gaze to the floor in front of him, he spied a familiar leather journal sitting on the floor in front of him and leaned over to pick it up. Paging through it idly, he read through several of his old entries, his old journal. Hasn't kept one in a while, not for the last three hundred years or so honestly. No point in writing what happened when his memory wouldn't let him forget anyway. Tossing it to the side, he cleared his throat and shifted in the chair. "Love." He murmured, dismayed to find his voice coming out scratchy and rather higher pitched than he would have liked it.

Clearing his throat again, he looked over at Ramona once more, watching her stand there, amid the destruction she wrecked in the room. "How can you say it's love." He finally stated, trying to draw the truth from her, how she could loved a big eared idiot like him. It was his fault in the beginning, if he didn't drag her into the TARDIS like he did that first day, she'd be living a normal life in her apartment. Granted he did goad her into coming with by making fun of it. Shaking his head, he let out a low laugh, amused by how everything added up to this, this one moment of complete stress and frustration. How he ended up in these situations, he'd never know. "Ramona, look at me. Turn around and look at me. I have something to say and I want to know your paying attention." He murmured, standing up to walk over, stopping just a foot behind her, his eyes roaming over her form curiously.

"Ramona, please."

Subject: Re: Counting Stars~ Fri Nov 29, 2013 5:08 am

"Oh no you don't!" Ramona whirled to face him then, her mind rushing, calculating the best reply that would suit his needs, his wants. She searched her memory banks and came up surprisingly empty, considering she wasn't the dating type to start with, she really had no- literally none- experience with something like this. How did she know it was love? Well... She just did. How in the world could she tell someone that? Even more so were the words she knew were coming, having traveled with his eleventh incarnation for twenty years she was very well aware of his other passengers. Past companions and the way he treated them when he discovered they had feelings for him, or assumed as much. Heck, he even let her see it in his head, it was strange that little trick of his... But she wasn't about to be rejected, not in her own sanctuary. His ship be damned! She just honestly confessed how she felt, he wanted to know why and now he was going to throw it in her face. She couldn't handle that, he should just take it, accept it, and move on! "Don't you dare reject me, don't you dare be all modest and I can't this and I can't that on me. Just... Take it and fly man!"

She gesticulated wildly, her voice nowhere near as strong as she'd hoped. Coming out more like a desperate plea, cracking and broken, forcing her to clear her throat. Ramona pointed a finger at him and gazed at him with frightened eyes. She couldn't do it, don't say it. Dear god she was going to kill him wasn't she? She was going to kill him over something so stupid and it really would be his fault. Jesus Christ. Ramona bit her tongue.

Subject: Re: Counting Stars~ Fri Nov 29, 2013 5:27 am

Blinking his eyes, he stared at her as she wildly gestured about the room, frantic in her attempt to stave off the rejection she expected. Blimey, human women, what ran through their heads most of the time? He thought to himself before reaching over and gripping her shoulders tightly, trying to calm her down. "Ramona, will you sit still and hush just a bit?" He asked sharply, gripping her tightly before letting go and looking at her face in silence for a moment.

"I... I never suspected you to think this way." he started off slowly, trying to gain his bearings as he scrambled around in his mind for something to say that would fix this, make it better, blimey! "I'm not exactly the best with, well anything that's close to relationships. Mal, she-" He paused, knowing how she hated the woman and let out a low sigh. "What happened between Mal and I was forced, and accident that shouldn't have really happened. She was drugged with Delirium and all I could smell was pheromone." Shaking his head, he grimaced slightly. "She.. She's special to me yes, but, after what happened then and what's happening to her now, the closest we've ever been is friends." He finished softly, his eyes looking into hers as he spoke, trying to tell her the honest truth.

"You... Your.. Your brilliant, clever, fantastic." He continued, stumbling over his words as he went along, struggling once more for something. "After those years alone, you're still strong, Ramona. You've spent all that time in company of idiots, and you still. Look at your daughter, Ramona. Just look at her, you raised her in impossible circumstances." Letting out a low breath, he looked down at the floor idly, trying to think of something more to add. "Humans, they die. They grow old, whither away and die. And yet you're here."

Looking back up, he leaned forward, his forehead resting against hers as he shut his eyes, silently reaching out for her mind, wanting to feel her there. "You're telepathic. The closest thing to being a Time Lord, without being born one. Your daughter, a Time Lord, full fledged Time Lord from your genetic quirk. You don't age, your telepathy, that's all it took to tip the scales." Opening his eyes again, he stared into hers, a sudden smile creeping across his face. "I haven't felt... Less alone in the past 300 years than I'm feeling right now."

Subject: Re: Counting Stars~ Fri Nov 29, 2013 5:41 am

She stood there listening, her eyes despite their wild glisten grew wide and then half-lidded with a calmness. She just stood there, letting him talk. She let him come close, shift uncomfortably, she felt him trying to maneuver within his mind, come up with something worthwhile to say. To tell her how he felt in return without openly admitting his feelings, he wasn't sure, he was scared in his own way. She felt this from him and reached out to greet him when he came to her, she caressed the gentle blues of his mental walls while closing her eyes to the comfort of touch that came physically. This is how she knew... these little things here that they did, they found themselves doing, be it to keep themselves safe or to make each other feel safe. Not so alone, and helpless maybe too. She wanted to believe in her mind that in a way this was a confession of his own, him telling her that he loved her without really saying it.

When he finished she knew he was done, she knew that he was unsure, unsteady on his feet here. This was strange ground for him, for this face, this body, this heart of his. And she would always love him the most, her precious Doctor. Ramona smiled at his words, her heart fluttering hopelessly against her breast as it raced frantically. Thundering against her ribs, Ramona opened her eyes to look up into his own, those pretty blue ones. God she loved them. They were alone, there was nobody to spy on them, nobody to judge him or her, nobody to shy away from. Ramona leaned up and ever so softly pressed her lips to his, smiling just so. Perhaps it was too far, too soon? She didn't care, it needed to be done, she was so light right now. So uplifted and utterly swept away by what she felt from him and for him. He could give her this one thing.

Subject: Re: Counting Stars~ Fri Nov 29, 2013 5:55 am

Stiffening slightly, he hesitated, not sure what to do exactly as she leaned up and pressed her lips to his. Honestly, kissing, not something he's done in a while. Forcing himself to relax, a reached up hesitantly, resting his hands on her shoulders so he could lean forward slightly, returning the pressure she placed on his lips before pulling away quickly. "Ah, nice. Yes." he said awkwardly, his eyes drifting away from her face and staring across the room idly. Clearing his throat, he glanced at Ramona quickly then stepped away, giving her any space she might need. Bloody hell, he was acting like a 50 year old again, hormones out of balance and his head spinning with thoughts and ideas only to be blown away by one simple kiss that lasted a few seconds. Honestly, he was a Time Lord, get it together.

Subject: Re: Counting Stars~ Fri Nov 29, 2013 6:02 am

Ramona smiled against the pressure he returned, soft and tentative, unsure but almost curious. Then it was gone and her smile remained, eyes glittering a soft honey. Suddenly she turned and ran, she just left because she didn't know what else to do. He knew how she felt and if he really wanted to know why than he would approach her about it someday. She suspected that today was not that day though, today was the day that he would get to figure himself out on a more personal level. Maybe at some point, her. But for now she was suddenly interested in the adventure outside, it had been quite some time and Milera was sure to be worrying by now. Ramona darted through the halls like someone who had been living there her whole life. The TARDIS shifted in kind to accomodate her until she lunged up the console steps, around the pulsing TARDIS heart, and directly out into the bright sunlight. Her hair was a bleached white under the insistent lightsource and she winced, holding up a hand so she could adjust. "Mes-seen?" She calls, distant laughter alerts her to location and Ramona sets off to find them.

He would join her shortly, after-all he always managed to find her, no matter where she ended up. The damn bloke, he was worse off than he even knew.

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