(PRACTICE FOR 11) #2

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Name: Ryan Solstice

Species: Human
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Occupation: Unemployed
Status: Poor and usually unnoticed.

Appearance

Hair: Brown and short
Eyes: A light blue shade
Height: 5 foot 9
Figure: Slim
Other: none
Clothing: t-shirt and jeans, usually with eccentric hat

Info

Family: Father and mother are separated and living in separate cities. Mother is in Paris, France. Father is in Dublin, Ireland. He has a little brother who is still a child and lives with their father.

Personality: Ryan is a nice guy who tries to see the best in people but can sometimes be untrusting. He is constantly on the look out for adventure, or just something more interesting than an average day

Stengths: Ryan is likeable and quite inteligent
Weaknesses: He is not physically strong or imposing, and gets uncomfortable when talking about family due to the dysfunctional state of his
Likes: His hat, adventure
Dislikes: the state of his family, boredom, his mother's new boyfriend
Dream: To meet someone exciting and have adventures

History: Ryan grew up in Dublin, and by all accounts, led a normal life. His parents split up soon after the birth of Ryan's little brother, Carl. His mother moved to Paris and starting dating a painter. Ryan blames both of his parents equally for the break-up and so his relationships are strained with both of them. He now lives in Birmingham, searching for adventure and excitement, and, you know, maybe a job or something.

How did you find us? Google

RP Sample:

Ryan looked at the Doctor nervously, when he had been searching for excitement, he hadn't realised he'd find this much. He dug inside his pack for something useful and came out with a carrot. A carrot. What use was that? He tossed it into the shadows in frustration only to watch it disappear, eaten away by Vashta Nerada. There had to be something else in his pack he could use. He gulped and looked over at the Doctor. "Any ideas?" he called over to him.

Your nearly approved, just a few minor things. Could you make the personality a little more detailed? It's good, but we want it to be great, just so people can know what he's like in case they want to rp with him. And one little tip. In his history, it says "You know, a job, or something." Please try to refrain from using unprofessional sentences like this. Other then this, your on the verge of approval!

Fantastic, you probably noticed this is a better app than Christmas Spooner, but of course there were some little things in there and I'm glad you spotted them. It's important to remember that you're trying to get as much approved as possible, so you need to look out for the negative, but also for the positive, and a few little slip-ups are expected but not fatal. Basically, you nailed it. I would perhaps say the personality isn't too bad, but your comment is perfectly valid, the main thing I was hoping you'd spot (and you did) was was 'maybe a job or something' stuff.