Zyx (Ace Hill)

Subject: Zyx (Ace Hill) Thu Jun 04, 2015 10:15 pm

Name: Ace Hill

Nickname: Alice, Zyx
Species: Human
Age: Twelve
Gender: Female
Occupation: Traveler
Status: Rich but not famous

::Appearance::
Hair: Shoulder length dark hair with purple tips
Eyes: Lilac and sparkly, so it seems
Height: 5'0 ish
Figure: Hourglass

Other: She has a scar on her forehead: a strange symbol that spins when her mood is more concentrated. She does not speak of it, and often puts a bandage there to cover the mark.
Clothing: She wears dark purple robes over light purple short sleeved stuff, and has a bow and a quiver full of arrows on her back wherever she goes. She also carries a "magic wand" in her pocket.

::Info::
Family: She does not care about her family, so it seems. She never speaks of them, but they seem to be deceased, based on the little she has said
Personality: Zyx is curious, clumsy, and most of all, evil. She loves to be sarcastic, often having sarcastic conversations with people. People does not mean humans. Zyx hates humanity for all it's worth and often will kill a human just for the heck of it. If her killing attempt fails, she uses her "magic wand" to make them (and everyone else) forget the incident. She has the delusion that she has magical powers, but she does not.
Strengths: Curious, clever, sneaky
Weakness: Clumsy, tired quickly
Likes: Her stuff, archery, her "powers"
Dislikes: Humans, people who dislike her
Dream: She says she wishes for the impossible, the improbable. It is believed she is speaking of her hatred of humanity, that she wishes for all humans to die, but it's unsure.

History: It will be revealed through roleplay.

HOW DID YOU FIND US?: I've been here before.

Subject: Re: Zyx (Ace Hill) Sat Jun 06, 2015 12:42 pm

1. You should have an image if possible
2. You have put human as species but then claim she hates humans. This either needs elaboration/explanation or correction
3. the symbol needs some sort of explanation as well, either there or in history
4. Magic wand needs more explanation as well. You say she does not have magical powers so does the wand actually work and if not how does it make people forget.
5. It is not enough to say history will be revealed through roleplay. It is fine to leave an element of mystery but we do need quite a lot of detail as well. For example, why she hates humans, what killed her family etc.
6. You've missed the roleplay sample, you say you've been here before so if you have already had a character and roleplayed on this site before then it is not essential providing that character was approved, but if this is your first character then it must be included. You can find it on the template.

You must remember this template is not written from the perspective of a normal person but an all-seeing god. It must inform us of the character even if those details are not known by other characters.

I will check back for approval once you have updated this.