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 Zerusians (practice for Espen)

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Romana II
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PostSubject: Zerusians (practice for Espen)   Mon Jun 02, 2014 11:09 pm

Name: Zerusians

Appearance: amorphous white blobs, but have the ability to generate limbs, eyes, etc. Can alter their color and voice to blend in.

Attitude: In a way, kinda like Daleks. They want universal control, but go about it much quieter. They invade a planet by imitating its inhabitants. Once they have reached positions of power, they start killing off the native inhabitants.

Technology: On their own, Zerusians have reached 21st century Earth type of technology. The most advanced thing they have made is a shape-shifting robot and a plasma drive capable of interstellar travel. Anything else they have is scavenged from other planets?

Backstory: Before the true Zerusians wiped themselves out in chemical warfare, they created the Zerusian robots. When the organic Zerusians finally died out, the robot Zerusians took control of the planet and eventually discovered how to interstellarly travel.

Present: Currently the Zerusian robots travel from planet to planet, silently invading and assimilating the different species of the universe.
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PostSubject: Re: Zerusians (practice for Espen)   Wed Jun 04, 2014 12:04 am

Name:  I'm not sure if this was intentional, but nice call to Starcraft.

Appearance:  So they're metamorphs?  Metamorphs are alright, but you'll need to be a lot more specific here about their powers.  Can they just make up forms?  Do they need to see the form first?  If they're just blobs, do they have any internal organs, or are they a single substance with some kind of consciousness?  You say that they can 'alter' their voice, but does that mean they can speak as their blob form?  What are their limitations to their morphing?  Do they have a maximum size?  How fast can they change?  Metamorphs tend to be fairly bland looking by themselves, but there is still a TON of detail that we need to know about them.

Attitude:  Firstly, we dislike direct comparisons to canon races.  Beyond that, though, I still have quite a few questions.  Why do they kill people?  What does that gain them?  In fact, why would they, assuming 'they' represent the majority of the race, want a planet like Earth?  What do they do once they conquer a planet?  What's their end goal?  What drives them to do this?

Technology:  21st century Earth technology hasn't gotten past a space elevator, so you've got massively mixed signals here.  For starters:  The shapeshifting robot is remarkably complex machinery.  Secondly:  What kind of interstellar travel are we talking about here?  Do you mean something like generational travel, or cryogenics travel, or is it Faster-than-light travel?  If it's the latter, then humans didn't develop technology like that until the 26th century.  And if it isn't, then total intergalactic conquest might be a little bit difficult if it takes you well over 4 years to move from Earth's solar system to the nearest star, and that's if you're anywhere close to light speed.  Furthermore, how did they get ahold of this advanced technology?  Did they build it?  Scavenge it?  Did they develop it themselves?  What do these shapeshifting robots tend to look like when they're not shapeshifted?  This needs a lot of explanations and fact checking yet.

Backstory:  Wait, I thought they CREATED shapeshifting robots?  Are they robots, or did they make them?  Furthermore, robots tend not to be amorphous blobs:  That sounds a lot like a life form to me.  This needs waaaaaay more detail.  Why did they think to create interstellar travel if they were just robots?  What did they do when they first came across life on another planet?  What motivated them to action at all?

Present:  They assimilate different species?  How?  Why?  I thought they killed people.  Do they assimilate the corpses?  What does that gain them?  Also, it might be a bit difficult to "silently" invade and wipe out species after species across the universe without drawing a tiny bit of attention to themselves.  You might get away with one unconnected planet going dark, but after you hit three or four you're gonna start to get noticed.

This species needs a lot of clarification and a lot of work before it'll be acceptable.  I always love a good metamorph and a good infiltration invasion story, but they have to be something pretty spectacular to go head to head with the likes of the Slitheen, the Cybermen, the Silence, the Saturnyns, and the Krilitane.  Give them a few limiters, explore their abilities more, clarify what exactly they are and pound out some detail and uniqueness for them, and try again.

Until then this is DENIED.

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PostSubject: Re: Zerusians (practice for Espen)   Wed Jun 04, 2014 8:10 pm

Very good Espen, although you jump around a bit (stating the issues with their appearance in your issues with the backstory, for example). Watch out for that.

Also for a first submission we don't usually suggest so many things. You basically just gave me EVERY SINGLE THING I needed to complete this application, but without any brainpower on my end. We like brain power. If, however, you told me to edit, and I did, and I was still lacking a huge amount of what was needed, that's when you start suggesting things.

But again, I like your attention to detail. And I actually didn't mean to reference Starcraft. xD That was accidental.

When I'm done with all my replies, I'll make you a weapons app to try your hand at. If you're not online for it, I'll poke you, alright? Good job!
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